Part 2

Well now I am a bit over my funk I can concentrate on finishing this blog entry.

When I left off I was in the middle of week three and I was beyond all reasonable levels of frustration. Like most things in life I began with a sort of beginner's enthusiasm that carried me through the first two weeks with ease. During week three I had worked my ass off and kept my diet strict but the weight loss slowed down significantly. This is the period of time I refer to as the moment of doubt. It is when the "newness" of something wears off and you realize you are now stuck with it for the long haul (well in my case another two and a half weeks).

With extreme training and dieting come many discomforts. You cannot eat what you want to. In fact eating has to get down right regimented and very, very, very boring. You cannot drink alcohol, at least not if you are me. I tend to retain water badly when I drink alcohol and on a short term extreme weight loss challenge that would be a disaster. You have to deal with increased aches and pains and muscular soreness. On an extreme lack of calories you cannot get the nutrients your body needs to function as a well oiled machine. You suffer from fatigue and a lack of energy. Imagine being tired all the time and then being cranky because you are tired and cannot perform to the level that you are used to. And strength levels in the gym tank completely. This is especially true if you are a very strong person who trains on a consistent basis. There is no way you can drop a lot of weight quickly and your lifts won't suffer. And no don't tell me about your cousin Bob who lost fifty pounds and increased his bench press by 50 pounds. Your cousin Bob could only do that because he was a piece of shit who never trained consistently (That line was inspired by the Late Great Mark Bell).

Do you know though there is still one aspect of extreme training that is worse than all those things combined? That aspect is the impact it has on your significant other. Now if you are one of those scumbags who hates women and treats his girlfriend/wife like a possession and not a partner than don't even bother reading this. Chances are you are probably single or will be soon and should spend your time wondering why you can never have a meaningful relationship rather than reading this blog. But if you are a person who values the person you spend your life with than read on.

I can deal with any personal discomforts sent my way. That sensation of extreme hunger fades after a few days. Sure you always feel hungry but the pain level drops significantly. You get used to the low energy levels and tend to compensate by drinking more coffee or just learn to live with it. The dull headaches and bodily aches and pains persist but again you get so used to feeling them that after awhile it becomes normal. The one thing I couldn't get used to throughout the thirty days was seeing my wife have to suffer for my sins. She starved herself right along side me despite me pleading for her not to. I kept telling her that she could eat whatever she wanted and it would not bother me but she would refuse. She is not the kind of person who can really afford to lose weight. She struggles to maintain her current weight and has to be reminded often times to eat.

She did not want to bring temptation around me. I can understand her mindset as well. If she is not eating I would feel weird to sit down and eat a pizza in front of her. I appreciated her loyalty to my goal but it frustrated me to no end. Seeing her suffer made me want to break my diet more than anything else. I never did break my diet, not once in fact, but I did struggle with it a few times.

Beyond her just starving, it also greatly limited what we could do. It is not like we could have people over. How could people relax and have a good time if I am in the corner not able to partake in snacks or some drinks? Sorry but I am not friends with Buddhist monks. And we really couldn't go out. What am I going to do go sit down in a restaurant and order a quarter of a steak and a water? We did catch a movie during that time and that was fun. We watched Oz the Great and Powerful and it was a thoroughly entertaining movie. Again though it would of been nice to have gone and have dinner afterwards. Whether you realize it or not so much of our entertaining revolves around drinking and snacking and that was two things I could not do at all.

Oh and by the way, at least for me, my temper grew much shorter while on this weight loss challenge. The littlest things would send me into a flying rage. I was able to keep it bottled up inside of me but I swear there were a few times that steam could be seen shooting out of my ears. While I think I did a great job containing my increased temper I am sure there were a few times it would slip out. In fact I know there were a few times it slipped out because Missy is quite potent with her look of death that sends a chill down my spine and I got a few of those looks over the last month. Missy never yells at me and is never mean to me but she doesn't need to be with that death stare. Fuck I have to change the subject before I get in another funk.

Damn I didn't intend for this to be another long post. I have already finished a 32 ounce powerade zero and fired off a missile while typing this out. I have to admit I love writing. I love putting my thoughts to paper (or the computer screen I guess). Some people love to talk. I hate to talk. I wish all communication was written. Well I take that back. Read facebook for fifteen minutes and you realize most people should do every damn thing in their power to avoid written communication.

I have to get back on track. Where was I? After that missile I kind of lost focus. I guess I will just skip ahead to the end of the challenge. The last day was probably worse than the 28 days before it combined. I knew going into the last week I would have to cut some water weight to make the 45 pounds loss. I pretty much assumed that going into the challenge but I wanted to try to get as close as possible to make the water cut that much easier. I think I achieved that goal admirably as I was within six pounds upon waking up the day before the weigh in. I thought a six pound water weight cut would be so simply that I could do it with no problem. I have cut ten to fifteen pounds in a day with no issue before.

Well it was a problem. I think I was a bit overconfident because six pounds was such a low number but I wasn't thinking about the 39 I had already dropped. My plan was that it would be a warm day out and I would sweat out some of the six pounds just by working throughout the day. This didn't go in my favor because of Ohio and its semi-retarded weather decided to be mild and overcast that day. The day before it was hot and muggy but on the day I needed to sweat is was cool and cloudy. The sun never came out once during my work day. I was like a giant version of Yosemite Sam throughout the day. I cursed Ohio, the local weathermen, and pretty much everyone I had seen throughout the day.

Just an aside. If you think it sucks being hungry when on a diet, imagine being thirty. Thirsty beyond belief. So thirsty you would give anything for just one sip of water. Now imagine that there is water all around you. Water in such abundance that you could keep drinking water until you drowned and it would still be available. All that thirst and all that water and yet you can't take one fucking sip.

I drove around a good portion of the day with the heater turned all the way up to get a sweat going. It was not easy but I did end up sweating out five pounds by time I got home from work. I was now just one pound over my goal and I could of just took it easy the rest of the night but that just wouldn't be my style. Instead I decided on a whim that making 45 pounds was too easy and fuck it lets just go for fifty pounds. I only needed to sweat out another six pounds. Sure why not? I swear I must just be a high functioning retard. I mean just what the hell was I thinking? I had just basically accomplished an amazing feat. Yes I was still a pound away but my weigh in was roughly 16 hours away so my body would of easily burned through another pound in that time. But I just had to push it. I should punch myself in the face right now. I am pretty sure Missy still wants to. That was one of the few times her death stare turned into a "I am going to punch you in your fucking face" thing. She had the perfect opportunity too. I could barely stand up at that point let alone fight back.

To try and squeeze out another six pounds I used a combination of hot showers with some physical work. I did a steam shower to get the pores opened up and then went and moved the grass and then did another steam shower. By time I was done with that process I had shed another four pounds but now I was getting dizzy and light headed. I ended up taking a nap on the sofa for about an hour and two and then woke up and did something stupid. I took a small drink of water. I had been working so hard to eliminate the water from my body and then in  the momentary confusion of waking up from a nap I gulped down a half a cup of water. I am not sure if how much it actually set me back but I know that it mentally broke me. I was done for the night. I couldn't go any further.

I woke up in the morning and made one last ditch effort to shred down a few more pounds. I did one more steam shower and then hit the stationary bike. After about ten minutes on the bike I gave up though. I started to "see things" and my head was light and I just didn't have any more to give. I got dressed and went and did my weigh in and settled for a loss of 47.5 pounds in thirty days. I was at that point just happy to be able to drink some water and not feel guilty! I drank I think four big bottled waters and four powerade zeros over the next eight hours. I think during that time I pissed once and even then it was just barely.

I don't think I realized the physical toll it took on my body to do this until after it was over. My low back is extremely sore now and I still can barely eat any food without feeling stuffed and I have basically slept for about two days straight. I am using this time to just recuperate. I allowed myself two days to take a break from dieting and training and today I begin my new diet and training regime. I will post up about it later as I have spent enough time typing at the moment.