I would guess that I am best described as phlegmatic. I have no idea what that means honestly but it sounds like a cool word and I am going to roll with it like I know what I am talking about. I am the kind of person that when given a task and a deadline I rise to the occasion and work as hard if not harder than anyone else to achieve that goal. It doesn't matter if that task is writing another chapter in my fantasy novel and the deadline is by midnight tonight or if the task is dropping 45 pounds and doing it in 30 days. Once set upon I will make short work of the problem. On the other hand if I tell myself to "get my fantasy novel done as quickly as possible" I might be lucky if I write a single chapter in six months time.
I naturally tend towards the side of laziness. If given a task and a time frame to do something I will do it but other than that I ain't doing shit. In the past I have told myself I would change. I would apply myself to different tasks each and everyday and I probably did do that, for about two or three days and then just said fuck it and watched some television.
When I knew that I had to lose all that weight during those thirty days staying consistent with my diet was remarkably easy. I may have felt the desire to have a cheat meal here or there but I never felt the urge was overwhelming. If anything I felt like it was more on the side of underwhelming. I remember when I was actually allotted a cheat meal and I was trying to decide what I was going to have almost nothing sounded good to me.
Now that the contest is over, quite literally everything sounds good to me! Part of this is that I indulged for two to three days after the contest. I lifted all eating restrictions and definitely splurged. I had some pizza, an Italian sub, some great Mexican food, cheeze its, ice cream, hummus, steak and potatoes, and all those other things I usually crave. I even had some alcoholic beverages on the first night and maybe even a couple more on the second night. Much like visiting a whore though, afterwards I felt immoral and guilty and bloated and gross. It didn't matter though I knew I was starting the new phase of my diet and I would feel better just as soon as I started putting the proper fuel back into my body.
Yesterday I did just that. I started off with a nutrient packed breakfast of egg whites with a couple yolks thrown in and some Ezekiel toast. I felt great. For about an hour at least. Then I felt the worst hunger of my life.It is funny that when you are basically starving yourself you don't really feel that hungry but when you are eating well but just a little less you feel like your body is eating itself from the inside out. And oh boy did the desire to stray from the diet I had just literally begun hit me so hard it made me say oh my lard. Quite the opposite from my time during the cut, every damn thing sounded good to me. I wanted eggs and bacon and potatoes, I wanted greasy french fries and a big juicy hamburger, I wanted the bacon cheese and tomato panini that Tim Hortons decided to plaster all over the city in giant fucking mouth watering billboards.
But most of all I wanted pizza. Throughout my weight cut pizza was about the one thing that never ceased to sound good. I love pizza (good pizza not the crap that usually passes for good pizza in Columbus). I never had it during those thirty days though, I knew it would set me back too far. Instead I kept it in the back of my mind as the reward at the end of the tunnel. One of the first cheat meals that I had was to go to Missy and I's favorite local pizza place and grab a large pizza.
Just a quick note that this place was the best pizza place we had found in town. They didn't do the generic little square cut crappy Ohio style pizzas. Instead they cut their pizza like it should be cut, in big triangles! They were also a bakery so their crust was always cooked to perfection and it was overall a great a pizza experience. Up until about two or three months ago. I am not sure what happened but at some point the quality just went down faster than Kim Kardashian at an all-star basketball game. The crust started getting overly burnt, the toppings ceased to have seasoning and flavor, and the cheese went from whole milk mozzarella to something more akin to a rubbery texture. We don't get pizza often so the first two times we just assumed maybe it was an off night. The owner who had previously always been friendly seemed a bit more gruff than usual. I just assumed he had caught Giuseppe bending his wife over the brick oven or some crap like that.
Whatever the cause of the problem, all I know is that by strike three you are out and that last pizza we got was strike three. I remember eating the pizza and wishing it was papa john's instead. When you make me wish I was having a mass chain pizza there is something wrong. So imagine my disappointment of waiting all that time only to have a subpar pizza.
Well I guess Missy was in a mood to torture me because yesterday on my lunch break she just happened to see a Papa John's commercial and said, "we should get Papa John's next time instead of ******'s." That was exactly what I DIDN'T need to hear right then. My only answer was, "fuck it lets do it tonight." She probably would of been quite fine with that and honestly it is not like one more cheat meal would have made or broke me in a physical sense. I am almost assuredly going to have it by next Saturday so what did it really matter if it was yesterday or five days from now? Truth be told it only mattered on a mental level.
If I broke my dietary plan just hours after starting it I would be setting myself up for failure. With no immediate goal or deadline, just a vague sense of where I want to by in ten weeks I know that staying on track will be very hard for me. All day yesterday I came up with multiple justifications to have that pizza last night. I even made up my mind on a few occasions that I would have that pizza last night. But in the end I texted Missy and told her that under no circumstances could she agree to letting us have that pizza for dinner. It would still be around come Friday night when I have my next cheat meal, if I couldn't wait until then I might as well just pack it up now and head for Venus.
I was quite proud of myself. I came home and trained my butt off and was all set to have my perfectly planned out last meal of the day. Then a Papa John's commercial came on with a promo code to buy one pizza and get a second pizza for 26 cents. What the fuck? Are you kidding me???? Of all the days they could run that commercial, they run it yesterday. I cursed them fuckers over and over again in my head. I tried desperately to hint around to Missy that it was too good a deal to pass up. I know that she would of loved to taken the deal but she sacrificed her own self for me. She quietly ducked off to the kitchen and started preparing our dinner as I got on the computer to look into the promo code. By time I found out the details she already had dinner nearly complete.
I finished my day with a flawless diet hitting almost every number I wanted to. You cannot rely upon someone else for success or failure but it certainly doesn't hurt to have someone in your corner who will be there to help you to make the best decisions. If someone is constantly sabotaging your goals and efforts then you need evaluate how much that person really cares about you. Whether you are trying to get in shape, drink less, quite smoking, etc. if the significant other in your life makes your progress harder it might be a bigger sign of a toxic relationship and know that your chances of success drop to nearly zero without their support.
And also realize that that promo code better still be fucking working come this weekend.....!!!!!!!
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