Let me begin by saying that I really didn't think too many people read this blog. Recently I noticed a few people shared my blog on their pages and then some of their friends read it and now quite a few people are saying they like it. It is kind of funny up to this point I have just been writing whatever random thing I wanted and it was easy but now that I know people are reading I feel a sort of pressure to write something good.
Have you noticed if you just talk to someone, even someone you might be in to, but do not expect anything to come from it you can just be yourself and very natural. The words always just roll off the tongue and you can have the most amazing conversations. I remember this really attractive woman that I somehow started talking to and I was right away taken aback by her. She was smart and witty and funny and to top it all off she was gorgeous. The best part was that since she was all those things I knew she would have no interest in me so I could just say whatever I wanted to her. Basically I could be myself because so what if she didn't like it. Basically I wasn't trying to sell myself I was just presenting myself as I am. Then one day I found out to my utter shock and amazement that she was in to me. Wait is it into or in to? Fuck if I know. For all the writing I do my grammar is shit. Luckily my wife goes through and edits my blog entries for me otherwise they would be full of mistakes.
I always get side tracked writing. Things pop in and out of my head like a kid with ADHD. What I was trying to get to before was that once I found out she had kind of fallen for me then I felt the most intense pressure of my life. When I thought I had no chance in hell I could be myself because I had nothing to gain or lose but now I felt like I had to say the right things or else she could lose that attraction. For a person like me, trying to say the right things is paramount to suicide. I need a free atmosphere to let my words just roam around and play and once I try to constrict them in any way it is horrible.
Thankfully I somehow didn't fuck things up at that point, but I probably came close many times. I say thankfully because that smart and gorgeous woman is now my wife. It is kind of funny that way. I am a big ugly bastard. For most of my training career I was only interested in being big and "jacked" and as strong as I could be. Looking good was never one of my priorities. Of course things have changed as I have transitioned from being a powerlifter to now dieting down to be a bodybuilder but that change only happened recently. Suffice to say I am not the kind of guy who walks down the road and women just get wet in their panties.
Do women even do that? I mean they do in porno movies and stuff but in real life does a guy ever walk down the road and women's nipples just pop and they get all tingly down there? Men are predictable for the most part. An attractive woman walks past, or they see a nice car, or they have a nice meal in front of them. or a loud sound goes off, or hell just a slight breeze brushes against them while they are pumping gas and they will get hard. But women are a total mystery. Most movies (and especially most pornos) are written by men it seems, so they don't really give an accurate picture of what women think. Really the only person we can ask is our wife or girlfriend and they often won't tell us the truth. Men are brutally honest to a fault sometimes but women keep their secrets locked up like Fort Knox.
My whole point is that when people see me and my wife together they're not thinking, "wow what a good looking couple" but instead are thinking, "wow there is a hot chick walking down the road with a literal turd that has legs and arms." They see me as some sort of Mr. Potato Head, but instead of a cute potato, it is a giant turd. At least they are thinking that in the summer time when I get a nice tan. Who knows what they think in the winter. I think it is funny how taboo it is for a chick to be the better looking one in the relationship. Does any woman see a nicer looking man with a less attractive woman and think, "what does she have that I don't" or "I could steal him from her easily, I am much better looking." I doubt it. At least women never really admit to feeling that way. But men think those things all the time. If they see a guy that they think is less attractive then them with a hot chick automatically a guy thinks, "Wow, he must have a big penis."
I know this because at least four people I work with, who have met my wife, have said that to me. Those are just the one's who have openly said it to me. Not implied that I have a big penis, but they quite bluntly said, "Damn your wife is really hot, you must have a giant cock!" While that is very true, I know that is not what attracted my wife to me (of course I had to throw that in there, I am a man after all). Seriously, that is incredibly insulting to both me and her and I get really offended when that is said. Are you implying that she is so shallow that a big penis is all she cares about in this world? And are you further saying that the only thing I could possibly offer a woman is a big penis? It is like they are saying that there is no way I could attract a woman by just talking to her, listening to her, treating her nicely, and just by being myself. What a bunch of jerks!
Who am I kidding I absolutely love that they think that and it doesn't offend me at all. But I am sure it is offensive to Missy so I act offended as well, but please keep the remarks coming.
Yesterday I wrote that if you asked the majority of people who go to a personal trainer why they go to a personal trainer the three most common answers would be to lose weight, drop fat, and to get healthy. I discussed the part about getting healthy yesterday so now I am going to touch upon losing weight and dropping fat. You probably think they are both one in the same but they are not. Weight loss can occur from a loss of fat, muscle, and water. Fat loss can come from losing fat. It is impossible to lose only fat just as it is impossible to gain only muscle. How you do things determines the ratio (obviously losing more fat and less muscle is ideal).
I separate the terms though because some people are just obsessed with the number on a scale. I can understand this because it is an easily identifiable marker that you can quickly monitor your progress with. But that number on the scale only tells one part of the picture. Who is going to look leaner, someone who loses 10 pounds of fat but only 12 pounds of weight or someone who loses 30 pounds of weight but only 10 of those pounds were from fat (the rest being mostly water along with losing some muscle). Actually that is a really fucking dumb question. The leaner looking person is likely to be the one who started off leaner. Okay lets say they are the same starting size and leanness and then the lose as I described. The same amount of fat but one person loses more overall weight. I will tell you right now that the person who lost less than half the amount of total weight will look and be leaner. That person is now carrying a higher percentage of lean body mass.
Being short sighted and only looking at the small picture is a big mistake. When I was growing up me and my cousin would often talk about women because we couldn't get any. We had no "game" because I was shy and awkward and he was just creepy. He still is creepy for that matter. If you are ever in a bar and see a guy with a coconut shaped head and deep set eyes, run away fast, because he won't leave you alone. But I remember we would spend hours talking about our short comings with women. We thought the key was to be famous, like a movie star, it was a guaranteed way to land women. And there is some truth to that. It would be a guaranteed way to some one night stands and probably a lot of high priced prostitutes that are always scoping out celebs to make big bucks. And of course there will be the women who would look at you as a meal ticket. A way to live the good life. Are any of those situations ideal? Maybe if all you want is to get laid. I am not a teenage boy anymore though and getting laid is not my priority in life. Any man whose primary function in life is to sleep with as many women as possible, is nothing more than a teenage boy. A real man wants to meet a good woman and spend his life with someone who enriches his life. As I got older I realized how hard it must be for a famous celebrity to actually find a good wife (or husband) who is just into them and not into their money or persona. Being a teenager, I envied them and now I feel bad for them. I am glad I wasn't rich when I met Missy and wasn't famous because I know she is not attracted to anything but who I am.
The other way that my cousin and I assumed was the ticket to getting women, was to be in the best shape possible. Train our bodies really hard and then we would just take our shirts off and women would just get weak in the knees and fall all over us. I remember one day going over to my cousin's house and he had a gym set up in his bedroom. Above his bench there was a picture of a naked man with a huge dick. I initially assumed, okay... my cousin likes big penis's, that is interesting. I wasn't going to bring it up because I really didn't want to press it. Eventually though I just had to. I mean it is impossibly distracting trying to bench press with a giant willy practically staring at you. Finally I was like, "what the hell is up with the picture of the naked guy taped to your ceiling?" I will never forget what he said back to me, "Well I can never have a penis like his but I can train my body to be better than his. That's what keeps me motivated."
That is not meant to be some brilliant motivating speech by the way. Like I said earlier, my cousin is a creep. This is the same person who shoplifted a penis pump from an adult bookstore. And I am pretty certain he just likes cocks too, which would explain why he is so bad with women. It is so funny, every man I know who is mean and abusive to women, all have signs pointing to them being homosexuals that have repressed those feelings. I laughed every time I would hear some friend of mine make comments like, "all women are whores" and "women are worthless", because I know deep down they think that because they find themselves more attracted to men and cannot handle it. That brings me to rule number 2 of how to attract the opposite sex.
2. If you despise the opposite sex then focus on your own sex.
My cousin and I couldn't of been more wrong in our thinking back them. He was wrong because what he really wanted was men and not women and I was wrong because I wanted the wrong kind of women. How could I find a good wife if I wanted women who were only interested in money or fame or good looks. Wouldn't I want someone who was interested primarily in me? They were attracted to my personality and my drive and ambition? They loved the way I write and the way that I carry myself and my humor and intelligence. Of course I would want someone like that!
It amazes me how men can have attitudes that women are slutty and trashy. I have one person tell me that all women cheat. Yet this same guy would try to cheat on his wife all the time. What a hypocrite! If that is the attitude you hold then of course you will only have trashy women around you. Women that are decent and have self respect will never look twice at you. If you only seek out women to get laid and have one night stands and then complain that there are no decent women out there then you are a moron. Just like when I was a teenager and I thought the key to getting women was to have a lot of money and to lift a lot of weights. Just what kind of women could I attract with an attitude like that? Maybe some one night stands and some trash but never a decent girl to marry.
I guess for some people that is okay. I will tell them they should just get prostitutes if they want meaningless sex. It takes much less effort and you can get exactly what you pay for. But if you want to find a good woman you must go into things with a good frame of mind. Respect women and you will find women worth respecting. I know that I am speaking mostly from a male perspective but that is because I have a penis. I have never had nor will I ever have a vagina. I am sure there are very many of the same issues that face women but since I have never faced them I won't pretend to know them. I do know things are not equal though.
Say there is a husband and wife and they are mad at one another. The man decides he wants to get revenge so he walks over to the neighbor's house on the right. It is owned by a woman who is young, attractive, and single. He knocks on the door and blurts out, "I am mad at my wife, can I jack off on your face." The chances of him being successful is almost zero. Now say the wife goes to the neighbor's house on the left, which is owned by a young, single, and attractive male. The wife has seen some better days but knocks on the door and says, "I am mad at my husband, can you jack off on my face." Her chances of success are greater than 50 percent. That is why I say things are not equal between men and women.
This isn't just me talking out of my ass either. A university did a study with slightly different scenarios but basically the same premise. The men had a zero percent success rate where as the women had close to 50 percent success rate in propositioning strangers for sex. An amazing thing if you think about it. You might be wondering just what the fuck does this have to do with personal training or attracting the opposite sex? The answer is not really that much. I just felt like throwing it out there.
So most people workout to look better. Whether they are obsessed with hitting a certain number on a scale or shedding body fat, they all want the same end result. They want to appear attractive. If the person is in a committed relationship then they want to be more attractive for their partner. If they are single, they want to be more attractive to find a committed relationship. If they are in a committed relationship but are unhappy, then they want to be more attractive so when they leave their significant other then they will be seriously jealous. Kind of like fuck you jerk, I am hot now and about to get some ass. Then again if that is someone's mentality then the other person is probably better off.
There is one thing all three types have in common. They all want to look better to the opposite (and sometimes same) sex. Even people in a happy and committed relationship want to appear attractive to people. Hell, their significant others want them to appear attractive too. Think about it like this. Say I fix up a nice classic 70s muscle car. When I am driving it down the road I don't want people to stop and look and think, "wow that car looks like a nutsac." I want people to stop and look and be like, "goddamn that thing is a beauty" and for them to be jealous. That doesn't mean I want them to steal the fucking car! Hell no I want no one to so much as even accidentally brush up against the car, but I do want them to admire it. Of course my wife is not a car. That would be very weird and awkward and even in my wildest imagination I am not sure how it would work out. That brings me to rule number 3.
3. People are not cars. If you want to attract the opposite sex being human and not a car is a great start.
I have done it again it appears. This was originally meant to be a single entry but then suddenly it became a 2 parter. Now it seems that I must make it into a 3 parter. Stay tuned because we haven't even scratched the surface yet.
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