How to Attact the Opposite Sex Part 4

My father passed away in January of 2011. He was only 59 years old and was in relatively good health up to that point, so it came as a sudden shock to everyone in our family. It turned out that he had developed a rare form of cancer that spreads extremely fast and is almost always fatal. In fact, in his case, it had spread so fast that he did not even know that he had it when he passed away.

That is a rather heavy and depressing set of facts to begin an article with. Even now, almost two and a half years later, it is still something that I don't like to think about. Growing up, my father was a very strict disciplinarian who had very narrow view on what direction my life should go in. When I was young I was very resentful because of that. I looked towards other kids in the neighborhood and always wondered why my dad was so much stricter with me than their dad's were with them. I should note that he was strict in certain ways. He wanted me to earn good grades and not get into trouble. He wanted me to keep my bedroom spotless and he wanted me to play sports in school. He wanted me to go to college and to get a degree in a field of study like engineering or computer science, something that would guarantee a certain standard of living.

On the other hand, he might of been less strict in other areas. I remember when I was 10 or 11 I got in a fight with another kid in the neighborhood. The kid's father must have seen us because I remember him coming out and berating his child for fighting. I remember a bit later having another fight just down the road from our house. Like most fights when you are a kid it happened fast and ended faster. I remember my dad got in his car and drove down to where we were after the fight had ended and some of the other kids were worried I was going to be in trouble for fighting. I knew better though, my dad was pissed off at me because I hadn't shoveled the driveway to his standard. He didn't care that I got in fights so long as I won the fight. If I lost he would of been upset because it would of been an embarrassment to him for his son to lose a fight.

I remember, as a very young child, I rarely would eat. I was very skinny and my parents were always worried about me. Around the age of 9 or 10 though, I started playing youth football and over the course of a year I packed on quite a bit of size. That wasn't a good thing because at that age the only size you are going to pack on is fat. I was never overly fat but I always carried some extra weight after that. I remember my dad always gave me a hard time about it. In his mind if I wasn't cut up and defined then the only woman I could get would be 300 lbs. and "white trash". He actually said those exact words to me multiple times. Just examine that mindset for a moment. It was as if the only thing that mattered was the weight of the woman I would be with. It didn't factor in to his thinking whether she would be a nice person or whether she would be industrious or ambitious. All that mattered was her physical looks.

I think this is what led to my attitude during my teenage years, that the path to landing a good woman was to either be rich and famous or to have a ripped and lean body. This led to those early attempts at bodybuilding with my cousin and experimenting with different diets. I did not find much success in those days despite many attempts. I did get lean a few times but it never led to a good woman just falling into my lap. It may not have helped that my experience with women at the time, was from the porno tapes I had stolen from my dad. Imagine my utter shock when I finally did start getting places with woman and I found out they didn't actually enjoy  (**********edited for the sake of family************)  being treated the way women in those videos are treated (well some women do but that is not for this article).

Something just kind of dawned on me, there is probably a strong correlation between the attitude of my father towards women and some of my failed relationships in the past. But this article is not about my past failed relationships. This is about attracting the opposite sex. I think something very important can be gleaned from my father in this regard, eventually  my parents ended up divorcing. My father had not been single in two decades so he was certainly not in familiar territory. In fact, I think my father only left the house maybe a dozen times in those two decades, besides for work. Suddenly he found himself single and started going out to bars nearly every weekend.

I am sure he was hoping that going out to bars might lead to some kind of romp, whether a one night stand or a long term relationship. I remember asking him how he was doing in that regard and he told me of one possibility, but then lamented on that fact that she was short and fat and older. When I asked what he meant by older, I was shocked to learn that she was still almost a decade younger than him. His reply, to my shock was, "I am sorry but I want a young and attractive woman. Is that wrong? It is what I want, some girl who is in her 20s and is attractive." I had to put the phone down so I could muffle the receiver while I laughed my ass off. Once I picked myself up off the floor, I picked the phone back up and told him the following;

"Would you listen to yourself? Is that all that matters to you is that she is young and thin? You didn't once say that you wanted a woman who was young and smart. Or a woman that was young and ambitious. Or a woman who was attractive but also very smart and funny. No, all you said was young and thin and pretty. So all you are interested in is her physical looks. But, and I mean no offense, you are not young and attractive. You might be attractive for your age but you are not looking for attractive woman your age. You are looking for a 20 year old hard body, but you are not a 20 year old hard body. So then, I assume you would want her to be attracted to your personality and charm. So all you want her for is her looks but you want her to overlook yours and see something else in you. Does that make sense to you? I mean to me, that makes you look like a hypocrite. And what do you expect to offer to a 20 year old girl? I can guess what you expect from her and it is not good and meaningful conversations. But what can you offer to her? What qualities do you possess that will enrich her life?"

Missy hates when I put her on a pedestal because she is very humble, but I truly believe she is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. The ironic part is that what attracted me to her was not her looks, not even in the least bit. I started talking to her online. I had actually met her before in person, but when I started talking to her online I was not aware of that. What attracted me to her was our shared interests. We both loved to read and liked many of the same authors. We were both kind of Star Wars nerds growing up. We both used to play with little action figures and make up our own little worlds for them to play in rather than what they were intended for. We both liked cheesy karate movies from the 70s. Suffice to say the list of things we share in common would be enough to fill a book.

So as I have always said, it was just a pleasant surprise to find out this witty and charming person I fell for also happened to be a stunning knockout. A real punch to the face for all these people that are only interested in people for their looks. I was completely uncaring about looks and found someone beautiful. I am not going to lie, that doesn't hurt things at all! Alright enough of that talk, Missy is going to be pissed because she is far too humble to want to be talked about like that. Of course if she wasn't humble and was instead obnoxious, then I would want nothing to do with her. Luckily for me she is anything but arrogant.

Building a good physique can be very similar in that respect. I found little success when I focused only on the "looks" part of training. When I shifted my focus to training for performance I found that I could stay motivated much easier. Instead of going into a training session thinking, "I want to get ripped", I started thinking, "I want to add 10 pounds to my bench press in 2 months." And you know what, I would add that 10 pounds to my bench press in 2 months. As a happy side effect, my body composition began to improve. That is the import thing to remember. If you train to perform better and combine that with a good diet, you will build an impressive physique and kill two birds with one stone. Performance is easy to measure and as you see yourself getting closer to your goals it keeps you motivated. The better body will come, rest assured, and with it will come a new and better you.

But always remember to not fall into the same mindset my father had. Building a better body is only one part of building a better you. Enlightenment comes from building the body, mind, and spirit. All three parts must be actively trained. Choosing a mate simply on one of those three parts is almost certainly a recipe for disaster. I would like to think of Quickstrike Fitness Solutions as not just an outlet for fitness training but an outlet  for life training.

Of course it is all well and good to not focus on looks when looking towards the opposite sex but what if you are kind of a crappy person? I mean lets be honest, there are a lot of turds out there in this world. And what is that saying, you can't polish a turd? Yep that is it! I have to be honest there is a large number of people I see every day that really have no hope. The best part for them, and the worst part for the rest of society, is that they always find a partner and pop out some kids. They will never have a meaningful long term relationship but they will damn sure pass on their horrible genes to ensure a pitiful future for you and I. For those people I say, please do base everything on looks because you personality and charm quite frankly suck. 

This brings me to rule number 5 for attracting the opposite sex- If you have a shitty personality you better be damn sure to have a banging body.

I am not going to name any names, but Jamie Bryant better start hitting the gym because otherwise he is fucked in life. Seriously dude, hit me up, I am like Obi-wan Kenobi - your only hope. You are an egotistical asshole and you don't have the kind of physique that can make people overlook that. 

This series is all about my life experiences and how they relate to the overall picture. It was originally intended for a single entry and now it may keep going for quite a while. I am still barely scratching away the surface. Each entry brings me but just a baby step closer.