I have to be honest, I really have no motivation to write this entry. The last entry focused on how women can appear more attractive to men. I extensively researched multiple studies on the subject that were published in medical and scientific journals. I sifted through what information I found and discarded any contradictory information or studies performed under dubious standards. I then showed how those studies could apply to personal training. I explained how a good personal trainer could write a program specifically designed to improve how attractive a woman would appear towards men based upon her body type.
The truth is that most people don't care about improving their physique. They simply want the scale to read a lower number. If they can also fit into a smaller clothes size it is all the better. Let me give you a quick example of what I am talking about. Say a woman, we will call her Delorean, hires Quickstrike Fitness Solutions for personal training. Delorean has recently separated from her long time husband. The thought of re-entering the dating scene terrifies her. She comes to us because she is insecure about her body and wants to feel more desirable. At first I try to fix her up with my uncle, Ron, "I'll fuck'em fat", Meinhard. Delorean is flattered, but politely declines. My next step is to do a physical assessment.
This is actually a quick process. I simply get some basic information from her and do a quick visual check. I notice that she has a thick waist and not much junk in the trunk. I refer to this as the "potato" look. It is very common among women but it certainly doesn't need to be. My next step will be to give her a basic overview of how we can improve her physique and send her back into the dating world with a leg up on the competition (this is a very simplified summary of the process a new client would go through). I would tell her that we would focus her diet and training around thinning out her waist line and adding a bit of meat to her ass and hips.
At this point she gives me that pissed off black woman's look. She is not black, at least I would assume she is not if she has no ass, but she gives me that look all the same. If you don't know what that look is then I suggest watching Eddie Murphy's live stand up show called Raw. He nails that pissed off black woman's look better than anyone. She then gives me a dressing down. "Ohh what kind of trainer are you, yeah lets make my ass bigger, ohhh... look at me 'my name is Jason and I am a fucking retard'". That might be a hard sentence to follow but it was basically her pretending to be me. Damn I am confusing myself now.
Let me tell you that if you have no interest in actually improving your physique, but instead only want to lose weight, then you do not need a personal trainer. All you need is to eat less. Yes it is really that simple. It doesn't matter what you eat, just eat less and you will lose weight. You will look like shit after you lose weight but obviously you don't care so long as the scale reads less. What I am getting at is that unless you try to change your physique all you will end up is a smaller version of yourself. If you are a potato with legs you will be a smaller potato with legs. Sorry but I could never charge someone money to make them look like shit.
So Delorean storms out of our office (currently our living room- but office sounds cooler). Because she is fat and mad, she slips on our front steps and rolls down the hill in front of our house. She is not seriously hurt but it does give us a great laugh. As she picks herself up off the ground, another potential client is already pulling up. This client is a bit different than the last one though. The most important difference is that he has a penis and not a vagina. Right away I am excited because I am always on the look out for new clients that might eventually become a training partner. Women are always welcome to train with the "hardcore" group but there is simply not that many interested in doing that.
This man, we will call him Beef Supreme, is interested in personal training. He has been single for sometime and lacks confidence with the opposite sex. He hopes that by improving his body he might be more confident with women. The first thing I do is ask him his penis size to make sure it is not bigger than mine. Once I get that out the way I then do the same physical assessment as I did with Delorean. Beef Supreme is on the taller side, a bit of a spare tire, big arms and a thick chest but not the biggest shoulders. By this point I am chomping at the bit. I explain to him that I have had a similar build so I am a bit of an old pro when it comes to dealing with that. I tell him that by working on shedding the fat from his midsection and really working on the rear and side shoulder muscles we could dramatically improve his physique.
Beef Supreme seems a bit disappointed at first. He tells me that he is not interested in being big and bulky and just wants to tone up. Normally this would annoy me but since I have a bigger penis than him I let it roll off my shoulder. Instead of being annoyed I ask him what is "toning up?" There is no such thing as toning. You cannot shorten or lengthen a muscle or change its shape. Sorry but we have what we are born with. That is why there is only about a 100 bodybuilders (out of hundreds of thousands worldwide) who can qualify as pro's. Even among the pro's there has only been 13 men to win the Mr. Olympia title (the top competition in bodybuilding) in the 47 years that it has been held. An even more staggering statistic is that the four men with the most Mr. Olympia wins (Lee Haney- 8, Ronnie Coleman- 8, Arnold Schwarzenegger- 7, Dorian Yates- 6) have won it a combined 29 times. That means that in 47 years four men have won the event more than 60% of the time. So what I am saying is that life is not fair.
I tell him that if he simply loses weight, with no regard to improving his physique, he will become disappointed with his results no matter how much weight he loses. Whether he weighs 300 pounds or 200 pounds he will still have narrow shoulders and a spare tire (the tire will be less but still there). That is why you have to follow a training protocol to improve your physique while you lose weight. This requires more effort than simply losing weight but it is the only way to go about things. Some people who read this might still have doubts but your fear of hard work will never change the facts. Watch the Biggest Loser to see what I mean. They lose weight but just end up skinny fat people instead of people with an impressive physique.
So, with that out of the way, I will explain to men how to make themselves more attractive to women. Actually, this can be a bit more complicated because women are a lot more complex then men. If you doubt this let me ask you, how often do men have to fake orgasms? That just ended any doubts right in their tracks. You see it would seem that a woman's perception of a man's attractiveness could vary depending on what stage of her menstrual cycle she is in. So I am just going to pretty much ignore any traits affected by that because I don't want to spend all night typing this up. Hell, I don't even care. I am married to a beautiful woman so it is kind of like, "fuck you guys, you are on your own." Ah... I guess I will finish this only because I am stubborn.
So women like men with symmetrical faces. Big fucking surprise there. I mean seriously, did we need a study to know that women are not attracted to Quasimodo? More attractive men apparently smell better as well even if a woman cannot see the man. Basically women can be blind folded, smell a group of men, and the ones who smell best will be the ones who the women will rate as more attractive when the blind fold comes off. Women find men with bigger penises to be more attractive up to a certain point. Women are also attracted to taller men, but again up to a certain height.
A funny fact actually. A shorter man has to have a much longer penis to be found as attractive of a taller man. And when a certain shortness is reached, no amount of penis size can affect a man's attractiveness rating. A small plump man with a large penis is considered the most unattractive. A taller man can have a smaller penis and still be found more attractive. A tall man with a bigger penis ranks the highest. Women prefer a man with less body hair. Again no fucking shit there right? Have you ever met a woman who wanted to fuck a woolly mammoth? Maybe in the 80s, but things were different then. In the 80s women loved mustaches and mullets, so I am sure they could accept a nice hairy chest. Thankfully the mullet, mustaches, and hairy chests went the way of stretch pants. Only hillbillies from Ohio have them.
What women really like though is a man with a bigger chest and a smaller waist. Along with this, they like a man with broad shoulders. This is known as the "v-taper". In the 40s they used to sell mens coats with padding in the shoulders and a tightened waist to give the appearance of a nice v-taper. This is the classic look that has defined modern bodybuilding since its inception. If you look back to ancient Greece and their sculptures you will see broad shoulders and thin waists.
Unluckily for Beef Supreme, he has the opposite of that ideal look. He has fat deposits increasing his waist size and narrow shoulders which kills any chance of a nice v-taper. Losing the fat around the belly is fairly straight forward. Start following a solid diet and begin a training regime. Make sure to hit the weights hard and perform cardio a few times a week. Some people respond better to certain things and respond worse to others but I will monitor Beef Supreme's progress and make adjustments as necessary. He also needs to add some width to his shoulders. He cannot change his bone structure obviously. Instead we have to work with what he has, but the better he develops his side and rear shoulders the broader his shoulders will look. The first Mr. Olympia, Larry Scott, had a more narrow shoulder structure but due to his training he appeared to have a nice set of broad shoulders.
Well that is it for now. This is the end of the beginning of this series. More to come very soon!!!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
How to Attract the Opposite Sex Part 6
Several years ago I lived in an apartment complex that had two big dumpsters for resident's trash. I distinctly remember taking my garbage out one day and seeing a sight that has stuck with me ever since. The two dumpsters were identical except that the dumpster on the left had its lid open while the one on the right had its lid closed. I noticed that the dumpster on the left, with its open lid, was so full of trash that some of the bags were spilling out over the side. There were even a few bags that had fallen over onto the ground. Logically I went to the dumpster on the right to check if there was still space in it. I opened the lid and to my shock there was only a few bags of trash in it.
I was taken aback by that sight. There must have been round after round of people who were simply too lazy to lift up a lid. Instead they chose to keep dumping trash into the one on the left even after it was overflowing. I thought to myself, "What a bunch of lazy bunch of pigs!" I think that day I really lost a lot of faith in humanity. I wondered to myself how could people accept such short sightedness. Were they really that lazy that lifting up a lid to a dumpster was too much to ask of them? Were they just that feeble minded that it simply didn't even register in their brains? While I wish I could say that this was just an isolated incident, that would be a lie. Everyday I see numerous examples of people taking the easiest route and forsaking everyone else in the process. Look at how much litter you will find everyday on the side of the road. Are you telling me that it is that difficult to wait until you have access to a trash can? No, of course it is not difficult but still people chose to take the simplest path with no regard for the aftermath. It sickens my heart to see such thoughtlessness and laziness.
Some people might wonder why is personal training necessary. With the widespread use of the internet, fitness related information is so readily available that with just a little research and a critical eye one could easily find all the information they need. I have always said that there are no secrets with it comes to losing weight and getting in shape. It really is as simple as combining hard work with a solid dietary plan. Sure, if you want to take things a step beyond the normal and be a bodybuilder or powerlifter things will get more complicated but most people do not want that. As I have already discussed, most people who go to a gym or hire a personal trainer just want to be healthy and to look good to the opposite sex. Only a very small percentage of the population would want to take things further.
Yes, I will come right out and say you do not need a personal trainer for that. On the same hand you don't need a mechanic to fix your car, just like you don't need a contractor to build your deck. However, most people don't have the skills nor do they want to take the time to learn the skills to do either of those jobs properly. Sure, there are a lot of unskilled people who make attempts. Hell, doing my normal nine to five job I see numerous examples of horrible looking decks and fences done by do it yourselfers. Luckily most people without the skills to perform such tasks wisely hire professionals to do it for them.
I will go out on a limb and say that most people are not going to be willing to put in the time researching different methods of training and dieting. And even those who might be willing to do some research will still be unlikely to spend a few years training diligently to find out what works best for them. That is where good personal training can come in. Just like it is wise to take a car problem to a qualified mechanic, it is also wise to trust your training and fitness related goals to an expert. Just like mechanics, or any other skilled tradesman, not all are created equal. There are plenty of shitty mechanics just like there are plenty of shitty personal trainers. Any asshole can tell you to do some exercises and to follow some cookie cutter diet and if you are lucky you might get some results. But if you want to get the best results, results that will be lasting, you need to find someone who knows how to analyze your goals and then to achieve those goals.
Now on to the meat and potatoes of this article. Most people who seek out a personal trainer want to look better to the opposite sex. While they are not likely to come right out and say this, it is still the primary motivator. As I have said earlier in the series, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I mean, does anyone want to walk down the road and have people think, "holy fuck it is a walking manatee!" Maybe there are some people who want that but they should seek out a psychiatrist and not a personal trainer. For those who do not have psychological issues I am sure you would rather have people think, "wow that person has really taken care of them self." Actually that is bullshit and you know it. You want people to see you and think, "goddamn, I would sell my mother to a third world country for one minute in bed with you."
So without further adieu I am going to tell women how to attract the opposite sex. Don't worry men, you will get your turn in the next entry. This entry is all about women. This is going to be quite a bit easier for me to write as well. Being a heterosexual male it will be odd to talk about what women find attractive in men. I feel much less awkward talking about what men find attractive in women.
And let me get one thing out of the way before I get started. In no way shape or form is this my own opinion. Everything detailed in this article is based on scientific studies published in medical and scientific journals. I have done my utmost best to scrutinize every study I have read and discarded anything that had contradictory evidence against it. I also refuse to utilize findings from studies conducted under dubious standards. I could go through and provide numerous references for the things I am going to detail but it would probably bore the living fuck out of you. If you do want to know my references feel free to email our company at quickstrikefitness@gmail.com and I will happily provide them. However, if you do that then I will probably think you are a douche. Maybe that doesn't bother you but it should. Nobody should want others to think they are a douche. But by all means don't let that stop you from asking for the references. Just know that you will be officially crowned douche of the month. No pressure.
There are many things about women that determine how attractive men (and other women for that matter) find women. As a small side note I have to throw this fact out there. Heterosexual men experience arousal seeing attractive women but almost no arousal seeing attractive men. Women experience arousal seeing both attractive men and women. This bit of information confirms my belief that Missy and I should take up that female cashiers offer from the other night. On a further side note, women also experience arousal watching animals mating. I am not making that shit up either. People who know me know that I love to pull jokes on people but I am dead serious about that one. Scientist believe it has something to do with an evolutionary response to wanting to continue the species. I just think that women love to get down.
Many of the things that go in to determining how attractive a man finds a woman I will not be discussing here. The reason being that they involve things that cannot be changed. For instance men tend to rate high cheekbones as being more attractive. Having eyes more spaced apart is another thing that men prefer. A slight longer leg to torso ratio is also appreciated, by western men at least. A smaller chin is preferred by most men as well. Obviously these things cannot be changed by natural means and I would never recommend plastic surgery to anyone. From a physical sense, I have yet to see a person who has gotten a lot of work done that does not look plastic and fake. On a philosophical level, plastic surgery goes against everything I believe in. Finding happiness in one's self is the first step to becoming the best you. How could you be happy with yourself if you wish to change your very structure?
There are some things that are easily changed that determine how attractive a man finds a woman. Contrary to what some may think, men find darker haired women more attractive than blonde haired women, with redheads being a distant last. Oddly enough, there is compelling evidence that men find blonde haired women more approachable even though they find them less attractive. Brown eyed men have no statistically significant preference in a woman's eye color. Blue eyed men tend to prefer blue eyed women though. In regards to women of European descent men tend to find the lighter the skin the more appealing. Some believe this has to do with the richer classes being lighter skinned and the poorer labor classes being darker skinned. Oddly enough, women find the opposite attractive in European descended males. They prefer ones with darker skin. Tall dark and handsome eh? Men find long, lustrous hair attractive as well. These things are all fairly easy to change and do seem to make some difference in perceived attractiveness.
There is one quality perhaps more important than any of the others in how attractive men perceive women. That is the ratio of a woman's hips to her waist ratio. And yes, men find that ratio far more important than even breast size. Breasts are what men fixate on during most studies but it is the waist to hip ratio that determines how attractive they find the women. During one study they found that men preferred women with a waist to hip ratio of 0.7, regardless of breast size. This finding has been backed up by multiple studies over the years. And unfortunately for certain women there is evidence that women with high waist to hip ratios and large breasts are generally rated as the least attractive. Obviously this is an average. I have an uncle who would absolutely fucking love you if you have a high hip to waist ratio and giant set of knockers.
Kind of ironic right that men prefer women with a bit of curves. Don't get me wrong, most women online who say they are curvy are really just saying they have too much funk in the trunk and that is not what I am talking about. What I am saying is that men do not find that super model look appealing. Hollywood actresses who are obsessed with that razor thinness should take note. Men like women who look like women and not women who look like teenage boys. This is contrary to what many women are led to believe. Men find average sized women far more attractive than women who are thinner than average. I blame Hollywood and especially the modeling industry for spreading that myth. Shame on them! Think of just how many young woman suffer from eating disorders because they are misled into thinking that is what men want. Far from it! Maybe young girls should stop and think about just how much of the modeling industry is controlled by gay men. Is it a surprise that the ideal boy shape of a model is that of a teenage boy? I think not! Just don't use this as an excuse to pack on needless pounds. It is not healthy. But if you do happen to do that call my uncle, he will fuck the hell out of your fat ass. Hell, he won't just fuck you, he will make love to you.
The best part about this is that the waist to hip ratio can be improved through proper personal training. Focusing effort on lifts like squats, lunges, hip thrusts, and leg presses will build up the muscles in the thighs and buttocks increasing the hip size. By following a proper diet and utilizing cardiovascular training, you can reduce your waist size at the same time. Women tend to hold more fat on their lower body than on their belly which is not an altogether bad thing. Contrary to what you may have heard, spot reduction of fat is possible to some extent, especially in the legs. Utilizing the right kind of cardio training can help to ensure the new size you pack on the legs and ass does not get overly fat. This is why cookie cutter routines are not the most effective things to follow. Sure they can help you make improvements but what you really need is someone with a critical eye who can assess your body type and design a routine tailored to improving it. A woman with a small waist and big plump ass doesn't need to worry as much about hitting the lower body lifts. On the other hand a woman with a thick waist will need to really hone in on her diet and try to add some lean size to that backside.
I was taken aback by that sight. There must have been round after round of people who were simply too lazy to lift up a lid. Instead they chose to keep dumping trash into the one on the left even after it was overflowing. I thought to myself, "What a bunch of lazy bunch of pigs!" I think that day I really lost a lot of faith in humanity. I wondered to myself how could people accept such short sightedness. Were they really that lazy that lifting up a lid to a dumpster was too much to ask of them? Were they just that feeble minded that it simply didn't even register in their brains? While I wish I could say that this was just an isolated incident, that would be a lie. Everyday I see numerous examples of people taking the easiest route and forsaking everyone else in the process. Look at how much litter you will find everyday on the side of the road. Are you telling me that it is that difficult to wait until you have access to a trash can? No, of course it is not difficult but still people chose to take the simplest path with no regard for the aftermath. It sickens my heart to see such thoughtlessness and laziness.
Some people might wonder why is personal training necessary. With the widespread use of the internet, fitness related information is so readily available that with just a little research and a critical eye one could easily find all the information they need. I have always said that there are no secrets with it comes to losing weight and getting in shape. It really is as simple as combining hard work with a solid dietary plan. Sure, if you want to take things a step beyond the normal and be a bodybuilder or powerlifter things will get more complicated but most people do not want that. As I have already discussed, most people who go to a gym or hire a personal trainer just want to be healthy and to look good to the opposite sex. Only a very small percentage of the population would want to take things further.
Yes, I will come right out and say you do not need a personal trainer for that. On the same hand you don't need a mechanic to fix your car, just like you don't need a contractor to build your deck. However, most people don't have the skills nor do they want to take the time to learn the skills to do either of those jobs properly. Sure, there are a lot of unskilled people who make attempts. Hell, doing my normal nine to five job I see numerous examples of horrible looking decks and fences done by do it yourselfers. Luckily most people without the skills to perform such tasks wisely hire professionals to do it for them.
I will go out on a limb and say that most people are not going to be willing to put in the time researching different methods of training and dieting. And even those who might be willing to do some research will still be unlikely to spend a few years training diligently to find out what works best for them. That is where good personal training can come in. Just like it is wise to take a car problem to a qualified mechanic, it is also wise to trust your training and fitness related goals to an expert. Just like mechanics, or any other skilled tradesman, not all are created equal. There are plenty of shitty mechanics just like there are plenty of shitty personal trainers. Any asshole can tell you to do some exercises and to follow some cookie cutter diet and if you are lucky you might get some results. But if you want to get the best results, results that will be lasting, you need to find someone who knows how to analyze your goals and then to achieve those goals.
Now on to the meat and potatoes of this article. Most people who seek out a personal trainer want to look better to the opposite sex. While they are not likely to come right out and say this, it is still the primary motivator. As I have said earlier in the series, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I mean, does anyone want to walk down the road and have people think, "holy fuck it is a walking manatee!" Maybe there are some people who want that but they should seek out a psychiatrist and not a personal trainer. For those who do not have psychological issues I am sure you would rather have people think, "wow that person has really taken care of them self." Actually that is bullshit and you know it. You want people to see you and think, "goddamn, I would sell my mother to a third world country for one minute in bed with you."
So without further adieu I am going to tell women how to attract the opposite sex. Don't worry men, you will get your turn in the next entry. This entry is all about women. This is going to be quite a bit easier for me to write as well. Being a heterosexual male it will be odd to talk about what women find attractive in men. I feel much less awkward talking about what men find attractive in women.
And let me get one thing out of the way before I get started. In no way shape or form is this my own opinion. Everything detailed in this article is based on scientific studies published in medical and scientific journals. I have done my utmost best to scrutinize every study I have read and discarded anything that had contradictory evidence against it. I also refuse to utilize findings from studies conducted under dubious standards. I could go through and provide numerous references for the things I am going to detail but it would probably bore the living fuck out of you. If you do want to know my references feel free to email our company at quickstrikefitness@gmail.com and I will happily provide them. However, if you do that then I will probably think you are a douche. Maybe that doesn't bother you but it should. Nobody should want others to think they are a douche. But by all means don't let that stop you from asking for the references. Just know that you will be officially crowned douche of the month. No pressure.
There are many things about women that determine how attractive men (and other women for that matter) find women. As a small side note I have to throw this fact out there. Heterosexual men experience arousal seeing attractive women but almost no arousal seeing attractive men. Women experience arousal seeing both attractive men and women. This bit of information confirms my belief that Missy and I should take up that female cashiers offer from the other night. On a further side note, women also experience arousal watching animals mating. I am not making that shit up either. People who know me know that I love to pull jokes on people but I am dead serious about that one. Scientist believe it has something to do with an evolutionary response to wanting to continue the species. I just think that women love to get down.
Many of the things that go in to determining how attractive a man finds a woman I will not be discussing here. The reason being that they involve things that cannot be changed. For instance men tend to rate high cheekbones as being more attractive. Having eyes more spaced apart is another thing that men prefer. A slight longer leg to torso ratio is also appreciated, by western men at least. A smaller chin is preferred by most men as well. Obviously these things cannot be changed by natural means and I would never recommend plastic surgery to anyone. From a physical sense, I have yet to see a person who has gotten a lot of work done that does not look plastic and fake. On a philosophical level, plastic surgery goes against everything I believe in. Finding happiness in one's self is the first step to becoming the best you. How could you be happy with yourself if you wish to change your very structure?
There are some things that are easily changed that determine how attractive a man finds a woman. Contrary to what some may think, men find darker haired women more attractive than blonde haired women, with redheads being a distant last. Oddly enough, there is compelling evidence that men find blonde haired women more approachable even though they find them less attractive. Brown eyed men have no statistically significant preference in a woman's eye color. Blue eyed men tend to prefer blue eyed women though. In regards to women of European descent men tend to find the lighter the skin the more appealing. Some believe this has to do with the richer classes being lighter skinned and the poorer labor classes being darker skinned. Oddly enough, women find the opposite attractive in European descended males. They prefer ones with darker skin. Tall dark and handsome eh? Men find long, lustrous hair attractive as well. These things are all fairly easy to change and do seem to make some difference in perceived attractiveness.
There is one quality perhaps more important than any of the others in how attractive men perceive women. That is the ratio of a woman's hips to her waist ratio. And yes, men find that ratio far more important than even breast size. Breasts are what men fixate on during most studies but it is the waist to hip ratio that determines how attractive they find the women. During one study they found that men preferred women with a waist to hip ratio of 0.7, regardless of breast size. This finding has been backed up by multiple studies over the years. And unfortunately for certain women there is evidence that women with high waist to hip ratios and large breasts are generally rated as the least attractive. Obviously this is an average. I have an uncle who would absolutely fucking love you if you have a high hip to waist ratio and giant set of knockers.
Kind of ironic right that men prefer women with a bit of curves. Don't get me wrong, most women online who say they are curvy are really just saying they have too much funk in the trunk and that is not what I am talking about. What I am saying is that men do not find that super model look appealing. Hollywood actresses who are obsessed with that razor thinness should take note. Men like women who look like women and not women who look like teenage boys. This is contrary to what many women are led to believe. Men find average sized women far more attractive than women who are thinner than average. I blame Hollywood and especially the modeling industry for spreading that myth. Shame on them! Think of just how many young woman suffer from eating disorders because they are misled into thinking that is what men want. Far from it! Maybe young girls should stop and think about just how much of the modeling industry is controlled by gay men. Is it a surprise that the ideal boy shape of a model is that of a teenage boy? I think not! Just don't use this as an excuse to pack on needless pounds. It is not healthy. But if you do happen to do that call my uncle, he will fuck the hell out of your fat ass. Hell, he won't just fuck you, he will make love to you.
The best part about this is that the waist to hip ratio can be improved through proper personal training. Focusing effort on lifts like squats, lunges, hip thrusts, and leg presses will build up the muscles in the thighs and buttocks increasing the hip size. By following a proper diet and utilizing cardiovascular training, you can reduce your waist size at the same time. Women tend to hold more fat on their lower body than on their belly which is not an altogether bad thing. Contrary to what you may have heard, spot reduction of fat is possible to some extent, especially in the legs. Utilizing the right kind of cardio training can help to ensure the new size you pack on the legs and ass does not get overly fat. This is why cookie cutter routines are not the most effective things to follow. Sure they can help you make improvements but what you really need is someone with a critical eye who can assess your body type and design a routine tailored to improving it. A woman with a small waist and big plump ass doesn't need to worry as much about hitting the lower body lifts. On the other hand a woman with a thick waist will need to really hone in on her diet and try to add some lean size to that backside.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Big Congrats In Order
I want to take a brief second to give a big congratulations to my Quickstrike Fitness Solutions business partner (also my wife lol). Today she received her new belt and rank of Sam Dan (3rd degree black belt) in Tang Soo Do from Master Joon Jum Kim. She had actually earned this rank before she moved out here but Master Kim has been away in Korea due to the failing health of close family member.
She now holds this rank along with her 2nd degree black belt in Goju-Ryu Karate. The dedication it took for her to achieve these ranks is evident in her dedication to training in the gym. She is one of hardest working people I have ever trained and keeps pace with me every day.
Congrats honey, you earned it!
She now holds this rank along with her 2nd degree black belt in Goju-Ryu Karate. The dedication it took for her to achieve these ranks is evident in her dedication to training in the gym. She is one of hardest working people I have ever trained and keeps pace with me every day.
Congrats honey, you earned it!
How to Attract the Opposite Sex Part 5
Let me just get something out on the table. I have a serious phobia of gas station bathrooms. Well I guess you could throw in, all public restrooms, but gas station bathrooms tend to cause me the most anxiety. This might seem a bit odd for a big scary looking man to be afraid of something as harmless as a gas station bathroom, but I can't help it. This is not a phobia that I was born with, say like being afraid of heights, but rather one that I have cultivated over the years. One bad experience after another has finally led me to this affliction.
While there are many people who read this blog that know me on a personal level, there are also a lot of people who do not know me. I know this because I check the audience stats and I have people viewing this blog from Russia, Britain, Australia, hell even Venezuela for fucks sake. In this past week alone I have had 19 unique views from Russia. I can safely say that I don't know one damn person who lives in Russia. I feel I need to explain a few things to those people, about myself, to make sense of my phobia of gas stations. My day job involves working in the field. This means that I spend long hours without regular access to a bathroom. I have no choice but to use public restrooms throughout the day.
This is probably not a big deal to most people but I am not most people. If at all possible I will avoid using a gas station bathroom at all cost, but sometimes I have no choice. My biggest issue with gas station bathrooms is that 95% of gas stations only have a single toilet for men and a single toilet for women. That means that if there is someone using the men's bathroom I have to wait around until their finished. Almost certainly every time there is someone in the bathroom when I stop. And because men are disgusting beasts every time they are taking a shit. It is the same story day after day. Americans eat too much crap food and then have the most disgusting bowel movements in history. I am sorry but the idea of walking into an enclosed space after some obese man just took a power shit is not my idea of a fun time. I actually have an unwritten rule that if I find the bathroom door locked I will wait no longer than 30 seconds for the bathroom door to open. Any longer than that and I know there is some god awful nightmare going on inside those walls.
Of course not every time is the door locked when I go to open it. There are those rare occasions the bathroom is not occupied. While this might seem like a good thing, it is almost always a very, very, very bad thing. Nine times out of ten, when I find the bathroom door unlocked, I walk in and find the results of some maniacs powershit sitting unflushed in the toilet. There is nothing on this earth that upsets me more than this. Public bathrooms generally have very powerful flushes. That means that all someone has to do is reach behind them and pull the lever down. It quite literally requires no effort at all and yet still there are some disgusting pigs out there that find themselves unable to complete such a simple task. I tend to see myself as a peaceful and philosophical man but something like that will quickly turn me into a raging bull.
So to get around the nightmare that is gas station bathrooms I will generally opt to use the bathroom at a grocery or department store. My personal favorite are grocery stores since most of them have bathrooms located at the front and most have a separate urinal. This tends to be the safest option although there can still be some hit and misses. Today was one of those misses.
You see, I had some drinks Friday night. Whenever I have some drinks about two days later I will have to urinate quite a bit. I have deduced the cause of this but that's not important right now. What is important to know is that when I left my office to get my work day started it wasn't very long until I had to take a wicked piss. When I am like this I have about five minutes between feeling like I have to piss until I get to the point that I have to piss so bad that it is about to squirt out of my ears. So I decided to go to my old standby, a local Krogers (a grocery store for the non-locals). By the time I parked my work truck I was to the point of squirming around. I affectionately refer to this stage as doing the "pee-pee dance". While this is a very horrible state to be in, relief was at least in sight. I made a sprint for the front door with no regard for the car that had to lock up its brakes to avoid hitting me. Passing through the double doors I was a man on a mission. And that mission ended in utter failure when I saw that the men's bathroom was taped off. I may or may not have let out an expletive under my breath at this point.
I had to think fast because things were reaching a point of no return. Now I do not recommend doing this, but behind the store there is a secluded spot that backs up to woods. If I position my truck just right I can piss into a bottle behind it and be completely unseen. Weighing my options this seemed like the best course of action. I sprinted back to my work truck and drove around the store to the back. Just wouldn't you know it but for some reason there was a family walking their dog behind the store. Seriously? I cursed them over and over again as I drove past. Of all the places to have a pow wow, you chose behind a fucking grocery store? Why not a park or a nice walking path? Idiots! So now things were looking bleak for me. The closest option was a nearby gas station but that was out of the question for the above mentioned reasons. I decided that instead I would make the 5 to 10 minute drive to the next closest grocery store, a Meijers. I actually prefer this place over Krogers because their bathrooms are located between two sets of doors so I don't even have to walk into the store itself. Not to mention the bathroom is bigger and that means more room for "funk" to dissipate.
I drove as fast as I could without breaking the speed limit. I was squirming and dancing around my seat the whole time. I tried the two finger willy shuffle and even meditation but nothing could soothe that urge to piss. I even began stomping my non driving foot but that provided no relief at all. All it would take is one delay and I would be forced to piss my pants. Luckily for me there were no car accidents and no downed power lines and none of the other things that might delay a drive. I pulled into the parking lot like a man on a mission and parked with a fury. I stormed out of my truck and marched, not walk but marched, my ass towards the front doors. As I made my way there one of those handicap buses pulled up to the front doors and the driver began helping to unload a man in a wheel chair. Now don't get me wrong, I have the utmost compassion for handicap people. I spent the better part of a year being unable to fully use my right hand (which is not even my dominant hand) and I know how damn difficult a minor disability like that can be.
But when I have to piss I am in war mode and I take no prisoners. I sprinted behind the back of the bus and came around and leapt over the wheel chair ramp and made my way inside. Now keep in mind, I leapt over the ramp like Walter Payton leaping over a defensive back to score a touchdown. In reality, I probably more closely resembled Walter Matthau stumbling out of a Puerto Rican brothel drunk as a skunk. It didn't matter to me, all that mattered was I now had a clear path to the bathroom. I darted inside. The urinal was beside a stall and I saw some feet and knew the guy next to me was probably taking a crap but at this point it didn't matter. I now had sweet relief. Generally in these circumstances I just breath through my mouth and not my nose and try to hurry as fast as I can. I was hoping against hope that I was there for the tail end of it and not the beginning.
Of course as luck would have it, I was at the beginning. Now you can sometimes hear some odd sounds in the bathroom but what I heard defies the laws of physics. Whatever was coming out of this man's bowels created more sounds than Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. It sounded like some demon infused avalanche of unholiness. Holding my breath meant I didn't smell it but nothing can ever compare to hearing what that man did. Somethings a human being just shouldn't hear and that was one of them.
That is me. That is what I have to deal with. That is why I am the way that I am. And that leads me to the next rule about attracting the opposite sex.
Rule Number 6- If you sound like a symphony of destruction when you take a shit, don't ever let the opposite sex hear you because I guarantee you no one would ever want to have sex with the man who made that sound.
I know, I know, I know. Everyone is saying dammit Jason! When are you really going to tell us how to attract the opposite sex through personal training? Don't worry. The next entry is going to detail what men find most attractive in woman and how woman can utilize certain training principals to better achieve that look. The following entry will zero in on the men. And that is not the end of this series. It is not the beginning of the series either. Instead it will be the end of the beginning because building a better you is 1 part body, 1 part mind, and 1 part spirit and I will leave no stone unturned.
While there are many people who read this blog that know me on a personal level, there are also a lot of people who do not know me. I know this because I check the audience stats and I have people viewing this blog from Russia, Britain, Australia, hell even Venezuela for fucks sake. In this past week alone I have had 19 unique views from Russia. I can safely say that I don't know one damn person who lives in Russia. I feel I need to explain a few things to those people, about myself, to make sense of my phobia of gas stations. My day job involves working in the field. This means that I spend long hours without regular access to a bathroom. I have no choice but to use public restrooms throughout the day.
This is probably not a big deal to most people but I am not most people. If at all possible I will avoid using a gas station bathroom at all cost, but sometimes I have no choice. My biggest issue with gas station bathrooms is that 95% of gas stations only have a single toilet for men and a single toilet for women. That means that if there is someone using the men's bathroom I have to wait around until their finished. Almost certainly every time there is someone in the bathroom when I stop. And because men are disgusting beasts every time they are taking a shit. It is the same story day after day. Americans eat too much crap food and then have the most disgusting bowel movements in history. I am sorry but the idea of walking into an enclosed space after some obese man just took a power shit is not my idea of a fun time. I actually have an unwritten rule that if I find the bathroom door locked I will wait no longer than 30 seconds for the bathroom door to open. Any longer than that and I know there is some god awful nightmare going on inside those walls.
Of course not every time is the door locked when I go to open it. There are those rare occasions the bathroom is not occupied. While this might seem like a good thing, it is almost always a very, very, very bad thing. Nine times out of ten, when I find the bathroom door unlocked, I walk in and find the results of some maniacs powershit sitting unflushed in the toilet. There is nothing on this earth that upsets me more than this. Public bathrooms generally have very powerful flushes. That means that all someone has to do is reach behind them and pull the lever down. It quite literally requires no effort at all and yet still there are some disgusting pigs out there that find themselves unable to complete such a simple task. I tend to see myself as a peaceful and philosophical man but something like that will quickly turn me into a raging bull.
So to get around the nightmare that is gas station bathrooms I will generally opt to use the bathroom at a grocery or department store. My personal favorite are grocery stores since most of them have bathrooms located at the front and most have a separate urinal. This tends to be the safest option although there can still be some hit and misses. Today was one of those misses.
You see, I had some drinks Friday night. Whenever I have some drinks about two days later I will have to urinate quite a bit. I have deduced the cause of this but that's not important right now. What is important to know is that when I left my office to get my work day started it wasn't very long until I had to take a wicked piss. When I am like this I have about five minutes between feeling like I have to piss until I get to the point that I have to piss so bad that it is about to squirt out of my ears. So I decided to go to my old standby, a local Krogers (a grocery store for the non-locals). By the time I parked my work truck I was to the point of squirming around. I affectionately refer to this stage as doing the "pee-pee dance". While this is a very horrible state to be in, relief was at least in sight. I made a sprint for the front door with no regard for the car that had to lock up its brakes to avoid hitting me. Passing through the double doors I was a man on a mission. And that mission ended in utter failure when I saw that the men's bathroom was taped off. I may or may not have let out an expletive under my breath at this point.
I had to think fast because things were reaching a point of no return. Now I do not recommend doing this, but behind the store there is a secluded spot that backs up to woods. If I position my truck just right I can piss into a bottle behind it and be completely unseen. Weighing my options this seemed like the best course of action. I sprinted back to my work truck and drove around the store to the back. Just wouldn't you know it but for some reason there was a family walking their dog behind the store. Seriously? I cursed them over and over again as I drove past. Of all the places to have a pow wow, you chose behind a fucking grocery store? Why not a park or a nice walking path? Idiots! So now things were looking bleak for me. The closest option was a nearby gas station but that was out of the question for the above mentioned reasons. I decided that instead I would make the 5 to 10 minute drive to the next closest grocery store, a Meijers. I actually prefer this place over Krogers because their bathrooms are located between two sets of doors so I don't even have to walk into the store itself. Not to mention the bathroom is bigger and that means more room for "funk" to dissipate.
I drove as fast as I could without breaking the speed limit. I was squirming and dancing around my seat the whole time. I tried the two finger willy shuffle and even meditation but nothing could soothe that urge to piss. I even began stomping my non driving foot but that provided no relief at all. All it would take is one delay and I would be forced to piss my pants. Luckily for me there were no car accidents and no downed power lines and none of the other things that might delay a drive. I pulled into the parking lot like a man on a mission and parked with a fury. I stormed out of my truck and marched, not walk but marched, my ass towards the front doors. As I made my way there one of those handicap buses pulled up to the front doors and the driver began helping to unload a man in a wheel chair. Now don't get me wrong, I have the utmost compassion for handicap people. I spent the better part of a year being unable to fully use my right hand (which is not even my dominant hand) and I know how damn difficult a minor disability like that can be.
But when I have to piss I am in war mode and I take no prisoners. I sprinted behind the back of the bus and came around and leapt over the wheel chair ramp and made my way inside. Now keep in mind, I leapt over the ramp like Walter Payton leaping over a defensive back to score a touchdown. In reality, I probably more closely resembled Walter Matthau stumbling out of a Puerto Rican brothel drunk as a skunk. It didn't matter to me, all that mattered was I now had a clear path to the bathroom. I darted inside. The urinal was beside a stall and I saw some feet and knew the guy next to me was probably taking a crap but at this point it didn't matter. I now had sweet relief. Generally in these circumstances I just breath through my mouth and not my nose and try to hurry as fast as I can. I was hoping against hope that I was there for the tail end of it and not the beginning.
Of course as luck would have it, I was at the beginning. Now you can sometimes hear some odd sounds in the bathroom but what I heard defies the laws of physics. Whatever was coming out of this man's bowels created more sounds than Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. It sounded like some demon infused avalanche of unholiness. Holding my breath meant I didn't smell it but nothing can ever compare to hearing what that man did. Somethings a human being just shouldn't hear and that was one of them.
That is me. That is what I have to deal with. That is why I am the way that I am. And that leads me to the next rule about attracting the opposite sex.
Rule Number 6- If you sound like a symphony of destruction when you take a shit, don't ever let the opposite sex hear you because I guarantee you no one would ever want to have sex with the man who made that sound.
I know, I know, I know. Everyone is saying dammit Jason! When are you really going to tell us how to attract the opposite sex through personal training? Don't worry. The next entry is going to detail what men find most attractive in woman and how woman can utilize certain training principals to better achieve that look. The following entry will zero in on the men. And that is not the end of this series. It is not the beginning of the series either. Instead it will be the end of the beginning because building a better you is 1 part body, 1 part mind, and 1 part spirit and I will leave no stone unturned.
Cheat Day Plus Another Sample Diet
I am posting up my cheat day list of foods that I had on Friday along with my daily diet for today (Sunday).
Friday-
The plan was to not have a cheat meal until the evening but upon waking I noticed that I was dropping weight at a rate that was faster than I would like so I made a judgment call and began carbohydrate loading immediately. I followed a carb loading pattern in the morning and transitioned to a more traditional cheat day by the evening. Here is a rough outline.
6:00 AM- A bowl of cheeze-its. Two rice cakes. A sandwich with natural peanut butter and sugar free grape jelly on two slices of Ezekiel Bread. 3 cups of low fat milk.
9:00 AM- 2 waffles with syrup. A scoop of protein powder mixed with water. Some more cheeze-its. Got scolded by Missy for leaving a bunch of crumbs all over the floor from the rice cakes I ate at 6 AM.
Trained Shoulders 11-12
12:30- I ate around 10 ounces of lean pork and 3 cups of potatoes with some BBQ sauce on the side.
4:00- Fish tacos at Bw3 with some tortilla chips on the side. Had a mojito with the meal.
6:00- Had some kind of iced mochachino type of drink at a starbucks with Missy.
9:00- Had quite a bit of Papa John's pizza. Had some reduced fat cheeze-its as well. Drank some southern comfort. At some point throughout the night I must of got hungry because I woke up in bed with a handful of cheeze-its in my hand.
I am thinking I ate something after the pizza, something of a dessert variety but for the life of me I cannot remember right now. Cheat meals aren't that appealing to me anymore. While I was indulging in food I found myself just wanting to be eating my normal diet with just bigger portions. I don't think this because I think a day like this sets me back, if anything I think it helps me to progress faster, I just am losing a taste for junk food because I know it leaves me feeling slow and sluggish.
Here is my diet for today-
5:00 AM- 2 slices of Ezekiel Bread. 1 Tablespoon of Sugar Free Jelly. 1 Cup of Liquid Egg whites and 1 Scoop of Protein powder mixed with water.
8:30 AM- 2 Scoops of Protein Powder mixed with water. 1 Rice Cake.
12:00 PM- 1 Packet of Grits. 1 Cup of Egg Whites and 2 Whole Eggs Scrambled.
3:30- PM- 1 Scoop of Protein Powder. 2 Slices of Ezekiel Bread. 1 tablespoon of no sugar jelly.
6:30- PM- 1 Scoop of Protein Powder (post training).
8:00- PM- 8 ounces of lean ground turkey and 1 cup of rice.
Totals.
Cals Carbs Fat Protein
1970 157 33 252
Look for Part 5 of my How to Attract the Opposite Sex series later tonight.
Friday-
The plan was to not have a cheat meal until the evening but upon waking I noticed that I was dropping weight at a rate that was faster than I would like so I made a judgment call and began carbohydrate loading immediately. I followed a carb loading pattern in the morning and transitioned to a more traditional cheat day by the evening. Here is a rough outline.
6:00 AM- A bowl of cheeze-its. Two rice cakes. A sandwich with natural peanut butter and sugar free grape jelly on two slices of Ezekiel Bread. 3 cups of low fat milk.
9:00 AM- 2 waffles with syrup. A scoop of protein powder mixed with water. Some more cheeze-its. Got scolded by Missy for leaving a bunch of crumbs all over the floor from the rice cakes I ate at 6 AM.
Trained Shoulders 11-12
12:30- I ate around 10 ounces of lean pork and 3 cups of potatoes with some BBQ sauce on the side.
4:00- Fish tacos at Bw3 with some tortilla chips on the side. Had a mojito with the meal.
6:00- Had some kind of iced mochachino type of drink at a starbucks with Missy.
9:00- Had quite a bit of Papa John's pizza. Had some reduced fat cheeze-its as well. Drank some southern comfort. At some point throughout the night I must of got hungry because I woke up in bed with a handful of cheeze-its in my hand.
I am thinking I ate something after the pizza, something of a dessert variety but for the life of me I cannot remember right now. Cheat meals aren't that appealing to me anymore. While I was indulging in food I found myself just wanting to be eating my normal diet with just bigger portions. I don't think this because I think a day like this sets me back, if anything I think it helps me to progress faster, I just am losing a taste for junk food because I know it leaves me feeling slow and sluggish.
Here is my diet for today-
5:00 AM- 2 slices of Ezekiel Bread. 1 Tablespoon of Sugar Free Jelly. 1 Cup of Liquid Egg whites and 1 Scoop of Protein powder mixed with water.
8:30 AM- 2 Scoops of Protein Powder mixed with water. 1 Rice Cake.
12:00 PM- 1 Packet of Grits. 1 Cup of Egg Whites and 2 Whole Eggs Scrambled.
3:30- PM- 1 Scoop of Protein Powder. 2 Slices of Ezekiel Bread. 1 tablespoon of no sugar jelly.
6:30- PM- 1 Scoop of Protein Powder (post training).
8:00- PM- 8 ounces of lean ground turkey and 1 cup of rice.
Totals.
Cals Carbs Fat Protein
1970 157 33 252
Look for Part 5 of my How to Attract the Opposite Sex series later tonight.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
How to Attact the Opposite Sex Part 4
My father passed away in January of 2011. He was only 59 years old and was in relatively good health up to that point, so it came as a sudden shock to everyone in our family. It turned out that he had developed a rare form of cancer that spreads extremely fast and is almost always fatal. In fact, in his case, it had spread so fast that he did not even know that he had it when he passed away.
That is a rather heavy and depressing set of facts to begin an article with. Even now, almost two and a half years later, it is still something that I don't like to think about. Growing up, my father was a very strict disciplinarian who had very narrow view on what direction my life should go in. When I was young I was very resentful because of that. I looked towards other kids in the neighborhood and always wondered why my dad was so much stricter with me than their dad's were with them. I should note that he was strict in certain ways. He wanted me to earn good grades and not get into trouble. He wanted me to keep my bedroom spotless and he wanted me to play sports in school. He wanted me to go to college and to get a degree in a field of study like engineering or computer science, something that would guarantee a certain standard of living.
On the other hand, he might of been less strict in other areas. I remember when I was 10 or 11 I got in a fight with another kid in the neighborhood. The kid's father must have seen us because I remember him coming out and berating his child for fighting. I remember a bit later having another fight just down the road from our house. Like most fights when you are a kid it happened fast and ended faster. I remember my dad got in his car and drove down to where we were after the fight had ended and some of the other kids were worried I was going to be in trouble for fighting. I knew better though, my dad was pissed off at me because I hadn't shoveled the driveway to his standard. He didn't care that I got in fights so long as I won the fight. If I lost he would of been upset because it would of been an embarrassment to him for his son to lose a fight.
I remember, as a very young child, I rarely would eat. I was very skinny and my parents were always worried about me. Around the age of 9 or 10 though, I started playing youth football and over the course of a year I packed on quite a bit of size. That wasn't a good thing because at that age the only size you are going to pack on is fat. I was never overly fat but I always carried some extra weight after that. I remember my dad always gave me a hard time about it. In his mind if I wasn't cut up and defined then the only woman I could get would be 300 lbs. and "white trash". He actually said those exact words to me multiple times. Just examine that mindset for a moment. It was as if the only thing that mattered was the weight of the woman I would be with. It didn't factor in to his thinking whether she would be a nice person or whether she would be industrious or ambitious. All that mattered was her physical looks.
I think this is what led to my attitude during my teenage years, that the path to landing a good woman was to either be rich and famous or to have a ripped and lean body. This led to those early attempts at bodybuilding with my cousin and experimenting with different diets. I did not find much success in those days despite many attempts. I did get lean a few times but it never led to a good woman just falling into my lap. It may not have helped that my experience with women at the time, was from the porno tapes I had stolen from my dad. Imagine my utter shock when I finally did start getting places with woman and I found out they didn't actually enjoy (**********edited for the sake of family************) being treated the way women in those videos are treated (well some women do but that is not for this article).
Something just kind of dawned on me, there is probably a strong correlation between the attitude of my father towards women and some of my failed relationships in the past. But this article is not about my past failed relationships. This is about attracting the opposite sex. I think something very important can be gleaned from my father in this regard, eventually my parents ended up divorcing. My father had not been single in two decades so he was certainly not in familiar territory. In fact, I think my father only left the house maybe a dozen times in those two decades, besides for work. Suddenly he found himself single and started going out to bars nearly every weekend.
I am sure he was hoping that going out to bars might lead to some kind of romp, whether a one night stand or a long term relationship. I remember asking him how he was doing in that regard and he told me of one possibility, but then lamented on that fact that she was short and fat and older. When I asked what he meant by older, I was shocked to learn that she was still almost a decade younger than him. His reply, to my shock was, "I am sorry but I want a young and attractive woman. Is that wrong? It is what I want, some girl who is in her 20s and is attractive." I had to put the phone down so I could muffle the receiver while I laughed my ass off. Once I picked myself up off the floor, I picked the phone back up and told him the following;
"Would you listen to yourself? Is that all that matters to you is that she is young and thin? You didn't once say that you wanted a woman who was young and smart. Or a woman that was young and ambitious. Or a woman who was attractive but also very smart and funny. No, all you said was young and thin and pretty. So all you are interested in is her physical looks. But, and I mean no offense, you are not young and attractive. You might be attractive for your age but you are not looking for attractive woman your age. You are looking for a 20 year old hard body, but you are not a 20 year old hard body. So then, I assume you would want her to be attracted to your personality and charm. So all you want her for is her looks but you want her to overlook yours and see something else in you. Does that make sense to you? I mean to me, that makes you look like a hypocrite. And what do you expect to offer to a 20 year old girl? I can guess what you expect from her and it is not good and meaningful conversations. But what can you offer to her? What qualities do you possess that will enrich her life?"
Missy hates when I put her on a pedestal because she is very humble, but I truly believe she is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. The ironic part is that what attracted me to her was not her looks, not even in the least bit. I started talking to her online. I had actually met her before in person, but when I started talking to her online I was not aware of that. What attracted me to her was our shared interests. We both loved to read and liked many of the same authors. We were both kind of Star Wars nerds growing up. We both used to play with little action figures and make up our own little worlds for them to play in rather than what they were intended for. We both liked cheesy karate movies from the 70s. Suffice to say the list of things we share in common would be enough to fill a book.
So as I have always said, it was just a pleasant surprise to find out this witty and charming person I fell for also happened to be a stunning knockout. A real punch to the face for all these people that are only interested in people for their looks. I was completely uncaring about looks and found someone beautiful. I am not going to lie, that doesn't hurt things at all! Alright enough of that talk, Missy is going to be pissed because she is far too humble to want to be talked about like that. Of course if she wasn't humble and was instead obnoxious, then I would want nothing to do with her. Luckily for me she is anything but arrogant.
Building a good physique can be very similar in that respect. I found little success when I focused only on the "looks" part of training. When I shifted my focus to training for performance I found that I could stay motivated much easier. Instead of going into a training session thinking, "I want to get ripped", I started thinking, "I want to add 10 pounds to my bench press in 2 months." And you know what, I would add that 10 pounds to my bench press in 2 months. As a happy side effect, my body composition began to improve. That is the import thing to remember. If you train to perform better and combine that with a good diet, you will build an impressive physique and kill two birds with one stone. Performance is easy to measure and as you see yourself getting closer to your goals it keeps you motivated. The better body will come, rest assured, and with it will come a new and better you.
But always remember to not fall into the same mindset my father had. Building a better body is only one part of building a better you. Enlightenment comes from building the body, mind, and spirit. All three parts must be actively trained. Choosing a mate simply on one of those three parts is almost certainly a recipe for disaster. I would like to think of Quickstrike Fitness Solutions as not just an outlet for fitness training but an outlet for life training.
Of course it is all well and good to not focus on looks when looking towards the opposite sex but what if you are kind of a crappy person? I mean lets be honest, there are a lot of turds out there in this world. And what is that saying, you can't polish a turd? Yep that is it! I have to be honest there is a large number of people I see every day that really have no hope. The best part for them, and the worst part for the rest of society, is that they always find a partner and pop out some kids. They will never have a meaningful long term relationship but they will damn sure pass on their horrible genes to ensure a pitiful future for you and I. For those people I say, please do base everything on looks because you personality and charm quite frankly suck.
This brings me to rule number 5 for attracting the opposite sex- If you have a shitty personality you better be damn sure to have a banging body.
I am not going to name any names, but Jamie Bryant better start hitting the gym because otherwise he is fucked in life. Seriously dude, hit me up, I am like Obi-wan Kenobi - your only hope. You are an egotistical asshole and you don't have the kind of physique that can make people overlook that.
This series is all about my life experiences and how they relate to the overall picture. It was originally intended for a single entry and now it may keep going for quite a while. I am still barely scratching away the surface. Each entry brings me but just a baby step closer.
That is a rather heavy and depressing set of facts to begin an article with. Even now, almost two and a half years later, it is still something that I don't like to think about. Growing up, my father was a very strict disciplinarian who had very narrow view on what direction my life should go in. When I was young I was very resentful because of that. I looked towards other kids in the neighborhood and always wondered why my dad was so much stricter with me than their dad's were with them. I should note that he was strict in certain ways. He wanted me to earn good grades and not get into trouble. He wanted me to keep my bedroom spotless and he wanted me to play sports in school. He wanted me to go to college and to get a degree in a field of study like engineering or computer science, something that would guarantee a certain standard of living.
On the other hand, he might of been less strict in other areas. I remember when I was 10 or 11 I got in a fight with another kid in the neighborhood. The kid's father must have seen us because I remember him coming out and berating his child for fighting. I remember a bit later having another fight just down the road from our house. Like most fights when you are a kid it happened fast and ended faster. I remember my dad got in his car and drove down to where we were after the fight had ended and some of the other kids were worried I was going to be in trouble for fighting. I knew better though, my dad was pissed off at me because I hadn't shoveled the driveway to his standard. He didn't care that I got in fights so long as I won the fight. If I lost he would of been upset because it would of been an embarrassment to him for his son to lose a fight.
I remember, as a very young child, I rarely would eat. I was very skinny and my parents were always worried about me. Around the age of 9 or 10 though, I started playing youth football and over the course of a year I packed on quite a bit of size. That wasn't a good thing because at that age the only size you are going to pack on is fat. I was never overly fat but I always carried some extra weight after that. I remember my dad always gave me a hard time about it. In his mind if I wasn't cut up and defined then the only woman I could get would be 300 lbs. and "white trash". He actually said those exact words to me multiple times. Just examine that mindset for a moment. It was as if the only thing that mattered was the weight of the woman I would be with. It didn't factor in to his thinking whether she would be a nice person or whether she would be industrious or ambitious. All that mattered was her physical looks.
I think this is what led to my attitude during my teenage years, that the path to landing a good woman was to either be rich and famous or to have a ripped and lean body. This led to those early attempts at bodybuilding with my cousin and experimenting with different diets. I did not find much success in those days despite many attempts. I did get lean a few times but it never led to a good woman just falling into my lap. It may not have helped that my experience with women at the time, was from the porno tapes I had stolen from my dad. Imagine my utter shock when I finally did start getting places with woman and I found out they didn't actually enjoy (**********edited for the sake of family************) being treated the way women in those videos are treated (well some women do but that is not for this article).
Something just kind of dawned on me, there is probably a strong correlation between the attitude of my father towards women and some of my failed relationships in the past. But this article is not about my past failed relationships. This is about attracting the opposite sex. I think something very important can be gleaned from my father in this regard, eventually my parents ended up divorcing. My father had not been single in two decades so he was certainly not in familiar territory. In fact, I think my father only left the house maybe a dozen times in those two decades, besides for work. Suddenly he found himself single and started going out to bars nearly every weekend.
I am sure he was hoping that going out to bars might lead to some kind of romp, whether a one night stand or a long term relationship. I remember asking him how he was doing in that regard and he told me of one possibility, but then lamented on that fact that she was short and fat and older. When I asked what he meant by older, I was shocked to learn that she was still almost a decade younger than him. His reply, to my shock was, "I am sorry but I want a young and attractive woman. Is that wrong? It is what I want, some girl who is in her 20s and is attractive." I had to put the phone down so I could muffle the receiver while I laughed my ass off. Once I picked myself up off the floor, I picked the phone back up and told him the following;
"Would you listen to yourself? Is that all that matters to you is that she is young and thin? You didn't once say that you wanted a woman who was young and smart. Or a woman that was young and ambitious. Or a woman who was attractive but also very smart and funny. No, all you said was young and thin and pretty. So all you are interested in is her physical looks. But, and I mean no offense, you are not young and attractive. You might be attractive for your age but you are not looking for attractive woman your age. You are looking for a 20 year old hard body, but you are not a 20 year old hard body. So then, I assume you would want her to be attracted to your personality and charm. So all you want her for is her looks but you want her to overlook yours and see something else in you. Does that make sense to you? I mean to me, that makes you look like a hypocrite. And what do you expect to offer to a 20 year old girl? I can guess what you expect from her and it is not good and meaningful conversations. But what can you offer to her? What qualities do you possess that will enrich her life?"
Missy hates when I put her on a pedestal because she is very humble, but I truly believe she is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. The ironic part is that what attracted me to her was not her looks, not even in the least bit. I started talking to her online. I had actually met her before in person, but when I started talking to her online I was not aware of that. What attracted me to her was our shared interests. We both loved to read and liked many of the same authors. We were both kind of Star Wars nerds growing up. We both used to play with little action figures and make up our own little worlds for them to play in rather than what they were intended for. We both liked cheesy karate movies from the 70s. Suffice to say the list of things we share in common would be enough to fill a book.
So as I have always said, it was just a pleasant surprise to find out this witty and charming person I fell for also happened to be a stunning knockout. A real punch to the face for all these people that are only interested in people for their looks. I was completely uncaring about looks and found someone beautiful. I am not going to lie, that doesn't hurt things at all! Alright enough of that talk, Missy is going to be pissed because she is far too humble to want to be talked about like that. Of course if she wasn't humble and was instead obnoxious, then I would want nothing to do with her. Luckily for me she is anything but arrogant.
Building a good physique can be very similar in that respect. I found little success when I focused only on the "looks" part of training. When I shifted my focus to training for performance I found that I could stay motivated much easier. Instead of going into a training session thinking, "I want to get ripped", I started thinking, "I want to add 10 pounds to my bench press in 2 months." And you know what, I would add that 10 pounds to my bench press in 2 months. As a happy side effect, my body composition began to improve. That is the import thing to remember. If you train to perform better and combine that with a good diet, you will build an impressive physique and kill two birds with one stone. Performance is easy to measure and as you see yourself getting closer to your goals it keeps you motivated. The better body will come, rest assured, and with it will come a new and better you.
But always remember to not fall into the same mindset my father had. Building a better body is only one part of building a better you. Enlightenment comes from building the body, mind, and spirit. All three parts must be actively trained. Choosing a mate simply on one of those three parts is almost certainly a recipe for disaster. I would like to think of Quickstrike Fitness Solutions as not just an outlet for fitness training but an outlet for life training.
Of course it is all well and good to not focus on looks when looking towards the opposite sex but what if you are kind of a crappy person? I mean lets be honest, there are a lot of turds out there in this world. And what is that saying, you can't polish a turd? Yep that is it! I have to be honest there is a large number of people I see every day that really have no hope. The best part for them, and the worst part for the rest of society, is that they always find a partner and pop out some kids. They will never have a meaningful long term relationship but they will damn sure pass on their horrible genes to ensure a pitiful future for you and I. For those people I say, please do base everything on looks because you personality and charm quite frankly suck.
This brings me to rule number 5 for attracting the opposite sex- If you have a shitty personality you better be damn sure to have a banging body.
I am not going to name any names, but Jamie Bryant better start hitting the gym because otherwise he is fucked in life. Seriously dude, hit me up, I am like Obi-wan Kenobi - your only hope. You are an egotistical asshole and you don't have the kind of physique that can make people overlook that.
This series is all about my life experiences and how they relate to the overall picture. It was originally intended for a single entry and now it may keep going for quite a while. I am still barely scratching away the surface. Each entry brings me but just a baby step closer.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
How to Attract the Opposite Sex Part 3
If you have been following parts 1 and 2 of this series so far you might be wondering what exactly my point is. Things have been so disjointed and at times over the top that you might be thinking that it is just a random collection of thoughts with no beginning middle or end. The truth though is a little more complex than that. You see, I have been kind of pulling a Mr. Miyagi on everyone so far. You have to remember that part in the Karate Kid when he had Daniel waxing his cars, painting his house, and sanding his floor among other things. Daniel became convinced that he was simply being used for free labor and that Mr. Miyagi had no intention of teaching him karate. Personally I think Daniel should of just considered himself incredibly lucky to not have been molested, but apparently simply not being molested was not enough for him. He had a tournament coming up and he was furious that he had not learned any karate from Mr. Miyagi yet.
Well you know the story. The truth was that Mr. Miyagi was secretly ingraining him with karate training the entire time but he was masking it as laborious chores. At least that is what the movie would want you to believe. I personally think that Mr. Miyagi was using Daniel for free labor and it was just a completely improbable coincidence that the moves related to karate. This series is kind of like that. Behind every outrageous story there is small tidbits of information to be gleaned from it.
Take for instance in part 1 when I discussed what is healthy and what is not. Most people who read it commented about how they can never look at chickens the same way now because my reference to fish having sex with them. The point I was making was to not get caught up in all these new fads. It seems like every year some new diet craze breaks out or some new way to workout becomes the in thing to do. I remember when I was a teenager it was all about low fat diets and training with a lot of sets and reps. Then in the late 90s and early 2000s the low carb diet once again returned to prominence. Also people began embracing the high intensity style of training once again, the concept of brief but very intense training sessions that were infrequent. Later on things changed again and primitive diets became all the rage and functional training was the new in thing.
It is enough to make your head spin. The truth is that there really are no new methods. The fundamentals of healthy eating have always been simple. Good lean protein sources, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, along with some dairy has never failed anyone. Throwing in some non-healthy foods are not a problem so long as done in moderation. Getting very lean requires some more advanced dieting techniques but how many people are honestly even close to approaching a very lean state. Training needs not be complicated either. Focus on the big compound lifts and round things off with some direct isolation work and some machine work as well. I have trained with quite a few different splits and routines over the last few years and everyone of them has worked to one degree or another when I applied intensity and consistency to them.
In part 2 I drifted through many subjects but there was a common theme running among them all. If you approach things with the wrong mindset you will get the wrong results. This applies to fitness, relationships, work, and all aspects of life. If I go to the gym because I want to look better to get noticed by other people chances are I will end up failing. Sure vanity can be a motivator but it can only go so far. It would be like going out to bars every night trying to get laid and then wondering why I could not find a decent long term relationship.
I found little success with training and working out when I had no set goals and purpose other than to look better. When I approached things different and set a definite goal and set a deadline for reaching that goal the entire story changed. Now I was actually working towards something that was easily identifiable but also realistically attainable. That can apply to more than just training. If I sit down and say to myself, Jason you need to work on making your business take off, then I will get no where fast. If instead I sit down and say to myself that to get my business to take off I need to get some gym shirts made and I need to get some logos on my car to advertise and I could also use some business cards. Then I tell myself that I need to have the shirts made by May 20th and the car logo done by May 28th and so on then I will accomplish those things.
Don't get me wrong though, there are something that need to be more spur of the moment. Relationships definitely fall in this category. I think we all know someone (and many of us have been that person) who may have been single for a snip of time and really want to find someone. It becomes almost a cliched joke that when you are looking to find a significant other you have an almost zero percent chance of finding them. Have you ever been talking to your friend and you want to tell them the name of a good song you heard the other day but for the life of you, you can't remember the damn title. Then hours later while you are laying in bed suddenly the name comes to you. Well if you are my friend, I am likely to call you at 3 in the morning and let you know that I just remembered it, which is why I probably don't have a lot of friends. The point I am getting at is that when you are trying hard to find something you will rarely find it.
It is kind of likely when I met Missy. I was certainly not looking to find anyone. I was at the very tail end of a very bad relationship and I planned on being single for some time. I even thought about all the cool things I could do and what freedom would feel like. And wouldn't you know it but when I was not looking the most wonderful person in the world fell into my lap. Well not literally, she is a good girl and not like that, but you know the figure of speech.
When I was in high school I worked at a local grocery store. There was another cashier there that my cousin thought was fantastically beautiful. I honestly can't even remember what she looked like, I just remember he definitely had a thing for her. I remember one day I was getting off work and my cousin met me at the store. He had worked up the nerve and wanted to ask her out on a date. But being that we were kind of morons back then it wasn't enough to just be himself and ask her. Instead he had to "pump up" first. No this isn't a reference to the penis pump he shoplifted, this is a reference how after you train a muscle it becomes more swollen than normal. Bodybuilders call this "the pump".
This presented my cousin with a problem of sorts. You see we were in fact not in a gym but in a grocery store so there were no barbells or dumbbells. Not one to be deterred my cousin decides to bust out some curls using a watermelon. So imagine the sight, a 17 year old kid in a sleeveless white tee shirt doing curls with a giant watermelon, in the middle of the produce department. Seriously, this really happened, I couldn't make this shit up. After about ten minutes and apparently satisfied with his biceps, he walked over to the cash registers and got in the girl's line. I am thinking her name was Anna, so we will just use that rather than I keep calling her "that girl". I was standing off a bit so I couldn't hear what my cousin was saying to her. Honestly I think I was a bit embarrassed. I mean I bought into that whole get big and jacked and get laid mentality but this was too surreal for even my 17 year old mind to handle. I was probably stoned too, which didn't help matters.
I am trying to remember events from over 15 years ago so things are a bit hazy, but I know that she turned down his offer. I know it is shocking that a stunning woman would turn down my cousin and his pumped up biceps but somehow she fought down her womanly urges and resisted his charm. My cousin was a bit upset of course. No one likes to be rejected. I still remember how he dealt with his rejection. We drove to the airport, I have no idea why, and he got on a pay phone. My cousin was and probably still is a master of throwing his voice. He used to trick me all the time. Well he called up to store and asked to speak to the manager using the voice of a much older man. When the manager got on the line my cousin voiced a complaint on a cashier named Anna. Using his older man voice he said, "I am quite embarrassed to say this but when I went through her line earlier she offered to give me oral pleasure. I am a married man and this made me very uncomfortable." I am not sure what the outcome of the phone call was. I had heard the next day that Anna was called to the manager's office but she continued working there. I doubt the manager took the complaint very seriously. Hell, maybe he did and she offered him oral pleasure to avoid being fired.
Rule Number 4- Don't curl a watermelon to pump up your biceps before asking someone on a date.
That might seem like a no brainer but apparently it is not. So far these rules for attracting the opposite sex consist of being alive, being human, choosing the correct sex for your orientation, and not curling watermelons. I think each of these are extremely solid pieces of advice.
Well Part 3 has now progressed to a part 4. That will come tomorrow.
Well you know the story. The truth was that Mr. Miyagi was secretly ingraining him with karate training the entire time but he was masking it as laborious chores. At least that is what the movie would want you to believe. I personally think that Mr. Miyagi was using Daniel for free labor and it was just a completely improbable coincidence that the moves related to karate. This series is kind of like that. Behind every outrageous story there is small tidbits of information to be gleaned from it.
Take for instance in part 1 when I discussed what is healthy and what is not. Most people who read it commented about how they can never look at chickens the same way now because my reference to fish having sex with them. The point I was making was to not get caught up in all these new fads. It seems like every year some new diet craze breaks out or some new way to workout becomes the in thing to do. I remember when I was a teenager it was all about low fat diets and training with a lot of sets and reps. Then in the late 90s and early 2000s the low carb diet once again returned to prominence. Also people began embracing the high intensity style of training once again, the concept of brief but very intense training sessions that were infrequent. Later on things changed again and primitive diets became all the rage and functional training was the new in thing.
It is enough to make your head spin. The truth is that there really are no new methods. The fundamentals of healthy eating have always been simple. Good lean protein sources, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, along with some dairy has never failed anyone. Throwing in some non-healthy foods are not a problem so long as done in moderation. Getting very lean requires some more advanced dieting techniques but how many people are honestly even close to approaching a very lean state. Training needs not be complicated either. Focus on the big compound lifts and round things off with some direct isolation work and some machine work as well. I have trained with quite a few different splits and routines over the last few years and everyone of them has worked to one degree or another when I applied intensity and consistency to them.
In part 2 I drifted through many subjects but there was a common theme running among them all. If you approach things with the wrong mindset you will get the wrong results. This applies to fitness, relationships, work, and all aspects of life. If I go to the gym because I want to look better to get noticed by other people chances are I will end up failing. Sure vanity can be a motivator but it can only go so far. It would be like going out to bars every night trying to get laid and then wondering why I could not find a decent long term relationship.
I found little success with training and working out when I had no set goals and purpose other than to look better. When I approached things different and set a definite goal and set a deadline for reaching that goal the entire story changed. Now I was actually working towards something that was easily identifiable but also realistically attainable. That can apply to more than just training. If I sit down and say to myself, Jason you need to work on making your business take off, then I will get no where fast. If instead I sit down and say to myself that to get my business to take off I need to get some gym shirts made and I need to get some logos on my car to advertise and I could also use some business cards. Then I tell myself that I need to have the shirts made by May 20th and the car logo done by May 28th and so on then I will accomplish those things.
Don't get me wrong though, there are something that need to be more spur of the moment. Relationships definitely fall in this category. I think we all know someone (and many of us have been that person) who may have been single for a snip of time and really want to find someone. It becomes almost a cliched joke that when you are looking to find a significant other you have an almost zero percent chance of finding them. Have you ever been talking to your friend and you want to tell them the name of a good song you heard the other day but for the life of you, you can't remember the damn title. Then hours later while you are laying in bed suddenly the name comes to you. Well if you are my friend, I am likely to call you at 3 in the morning and let you know that I just remembered it, which is why I probably don't have a lot of friends. The point I am getting at is that when you are trying hard to find something you will rarely find it.
It is kind of likely when I met Missy. I was certainly not looking to find anyone. I was at the very tail end of a very bad relationship and I planned on being single for some time. I even thought about all the cool things I could do and what freedom would feel like. And wouldn't you know it but when I was not looking the most wonderful person in the world fell into my lap. Well not literally, she is a good girl and not like that, but you know the figure of speech.
When I was in high school I worked at a local grocery store. There was another cashier there that my cousin thought was fantastically beautiful. I honestly can't even remember what she looked like, I just remember he definitely had a thing for her. I remember one day I was getting off work and my cousin met me at the store. He had worked up the nerve and wanted to ask her out on a date. But being that we were kind of morons back then it wasn't enough to just be himself and ask her. Instead he had to "pump up" first. No this isn't a reference to the penis pump he shoplifted, this is a reference how after you train a muscle it becomes more swollen than normal. Bodybuilders call this "the pump".
This presented my cousin with a problem of sorts. You see we were in fact not in a gym but in a grocery store so there were no barbells or dumbbells. Not one to be deterred my cousin decides to bust out some curls using a watermelon. So imagine the sight, a 17 year old kid in a sleeveless white tee shirt doing curls with a giant watermelon, in the middle of the produce department. Seriously, this really happened, I couldn't make this shit up. After about ten minutes and apparently satisfied with his biceps, he walked over to the cash registers and got in the girl's line. I am thinking her name was Anna, so we will just use that rather than I keep calling her "that girl". I was standing off a bit so I couldn't hear what my cousin was saying to her. Honestly I think I was a bit embarrassed. I mean I bought into that whole get big and jacked and get laid mentality but this was too surreal for even my 17 year old mind to handle. I was probably stoned too, which didn't help matters.
I am trying to remember events from over 15 years ago so things are a bit hazy, but I know that she turned down his offer. I know it is shocking that a stunning woman would turn down my cousin and his pumped up biceps but somehow she fought down her womanly urges and resisted his charm. My cousin was a bit upset of course. No one likes to be rejected. I still remember how he dealt with his rejection. We drove to the airport, I have no idea why, and he got on a pay phone. My cousin was and probably still is a master of throwing his voice. He used to trick me all the time. Well he called up to store and asked to speak to the manager using the voice of a much older man. When the manager got on the line my cousin voiced a complaint on a cashier named Anna. Using his older man voice he said, "I am quite embarrassed to say this but when I went through her line earlier she offered to give me oral pleasure. I am a married man and this made me very uncomfortable." I am not sure what the outcome of the phone call was. I had heard the next day that Anna was called to the manager's office but she continued working there. I doubt the manager took the complaint very seriously. Hell, maybe he did and she offered him oral pleasure to avoid being fired.
Rule Number 4- Don't curl a watermelon to pump up your biceps before asking someone on a date.
That might seem like a no brainer but apparently it is not. So far these rules for attracting the opposite sex consist of being alive, being human, choosing the correct sex for your orientation, and not curling watermelons. I think each of these are extremely solid pieces of advice.
Well Part 3 has now progressed to a part 4. That will come tomorrow.
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